Chapter I

PART - I

 

It was very late and Suparna was walking alone in an alley which looked abandoned, but she knew there was a shadow following her. All her senses were sharp because of the fear in her heart. She was new to this place; no one has used this path. She was the first one to travel in this route. She didn’t know where her destination was, but she kept on walking down the alley. Suddenly there was a rustle behind her. Her fear increased and she increased her pace. She could feel something was behind her trying to pull her back. Whatever it was, Suparna was sure it didn’t want her to reach her destination. And then all of a sudden she felt a hand on her shoulders. Not able to withstand her fear anymore, Suparna screamed for help

 

             “AAAAA!” Suparna screamed and then woke up with a jerk. It was just a dream. Her entire body was covered with sweat and her mind was in a frenzied state. Tears filled her eyes and she started to sob uncontrollably.

            

“Su! What happened? Another nightmare?” Anjali was asking her, trying to pacify her distraught room mate at the same time. Anjali and Suparna were working in the same call center and shared a room too. They have been acquainted for almost a year and they have become good friends. Suparna has been having these nightmares for a long time. Anjali has been trying to get her friend go to a doctor. But Suparna was so stubborn in this matter. Anjali didn’t know why, but she felt as if Suparna was hiding something.

 

It took longer than usual for Suparna to relax. She has been having these nightmares from the time she decided to leave her past behind and start a new life.

 Nobody in her current life knew about her past. She has never uttered a word to any soul. Whenever people asked her about her past, she would evade the conversation. Only her employer knew about her and it made her feel very insecure. Even Anjali didn’t know and she was not willing to change the state. She didn’t have any dark secrets to hide, but she didn’t want to remember either.

 

            “Yes Anju, am sorry for disturbing your sleep. I am terribly sorry. These nightmares never seem to go away. Every time, I try a new technique to get rid of these nightmares, they just seem to get worse”, Suparna explained to Anjali.

          “That’s Okie, Su. Why are refraining from a doctor’s consent?”

          “Please, Anjali. If I go to doctor, then he will ask me some questions which I don’t want to answer. I am sorry.”

          “Okie. Leave it. Let’s get some rest. We will have to go to work in another five hours.”

          “Okie”.

Suparna couldn’t sleep again. She was tossing and turning in the bed trying to get some sleep. After sometime,she got up and went to the living room of the house that they were staying in, she opened her bag and took one of her diaries which was tattered. None of them knew that these diaries were a key to solve the mystery of her past. She has been trying to destroy it many times, but she never could bring herself to do that. She had been hoping that every day, there might be a change in life but it is the same. Now once again hoping that the new day might bring a change in her life, she started browsing through the pages of her diary.

  

“                  8^th November, 1995

                        11:30 AM

Hi there,

It was raining like cats and dogs today. But am happy, as our school declared holiday. I can play with the kids staying in the ground floor flat. As you already know, Mom is not feeling well, so I am doing my current year in school from my aunt’s house. I now have a big gang of friends. It has been a good year so far. I never thought could draw perfectly. But I got a good for one of my drawings. Now I know, am not that bad when it comes to drawing. I will have to just practice and work hard. No need of asking my sister to help me anymore. Okie. Aunt is calling me for lunch. She has made my favorite dish, vegetable biryani with potato fry. I am gonna go. Will meet you later. Bye”

 

          “                       8:00 PM

             Hi,

 I just read the entry I made in the morning. I was happy in the morning, but I feel very sad now. After having my lunch, I slept till 4:30 and then I got up .I freshened up myself and waited for the clock to strike 5:00. PM. It was my regular playtime. I went down and waited for my friends at the usual place. I waited for sometime and then aarthi, hema and suba came. They lived in the J block of our colony. We were waiting for the gals from the flat in ground floor. After sometime we started playing with the sand which was placed there for the repair going on in one of the houses. We built a sand castle and used some bricks as a fort so that no one will destroy it accidentally. After that we played the gals game of cuzzaway and caterpillar and zig " zag-zoom and ham cheese ham burger. Aarthi’s mom then called us saying that it was getting late and they had to do some homework. So we said tata and left. I went to Suganya’s house (the gal from the ground floor) to ask why she didn’t come to play.But when I went there, only Suganya’s dad and her grand ma was there. Uncle said Suganya and her mom have gone out . Uncle asked me to come inside. He was asking about how I felt about staying in aunt’s place and studying. I told him that I felt good and don’t feel much tired  and I have lots of friends to play with. He was asking about my favourite heroes and heroines. I was answering him very enthusiastically. Suddenly, I felt Uncles hands inside my t-shirt and i tried to push him away. He held my hands and placed on his thighs. I took off my hands and pushed him on the floor and rushed home. I am so scared, I know he was gonna do something wrong  and am too scared to say this to my aunt. I came home and vomited. I feel very bad. I can never forget whatever happened.Oh God ! I am so scared. I am not a bad gal. Why did he do like that. I hate him…………………….”

   

There were some more things written in the diary, but they were faded as they have been blotted by her tears. Suparna sat there, with silent tears flowing from her eyes. The memories were flooding through her mind. That incident is etched clearly in her mind. She felt a new urge of anger towards the man who had been the first to scar her beautiful mind, heart and soul. He was not the only one to do that. Suddenly, she was overwhelmed with so much grief ,that she was feeling as if she was not able to breath. There was a sudden thud on the floor. Suparna came back from her reminiscence with a jerk and saw that it was time to get ready for office. She didn’t know what made her to read the diary. “Maybe I was looking for some kind of explanation from the diary for these nightmares. But if I have to find it, I will have to go through diaries, but there is lot of them.” She decided, that she will complete one diary a day so that she can find an answer for her journey in abandoned alley