Tuesday, May 29, 2012: Letting it All Out

     I wake up on the early side, which would be pretty late for most people. I have about half an hour to get ready for school. I roll out of bed and carefully put in my contacts. Then, I button up a denim button down and slip on a sheer maxi-skirt. I feel good, even though I got way less sleep than I usually do. I brush my teeth and head downstairs. My mom hands me mango granola in a plastic bag and my phone. "9 New Messages". Oh, God. I decide to read them. Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, the names of the senders reads. Great, I think. I click on the oldest message and begin reading:

     10:19pm: i managed to sneak my phone into my room. please tell me why, despite my best efforts, you refuse to stay my friend.

     10:20pm: if you dont answer in the next 10 minutes i will assume you either want to have nothing to do with me or just did not recieve my message.

     10:27pm: oh, and we didnt "just break up", it's been a week, and the only reason im trying to be around you so much is because you said you didnt want too much space, and i'll be honest, seeing you is like a punch in the chest every time, and what's worse is that people are treating me like im a joke, despite trying to hold back tears every time i think about you. no one believes that we were ever serious, and even more think that i either treated you poorly or that im a pushover, and they just cant stop laughing at the fact that you friendzoned me while we were going out, and upon looking back, that's what you did, but for your sake, i'm trying to be friends with you, because i don't want us to drift away just because our relationship ended badly.

    10:42pm: picture message unable to be recieved.

   I take a deep breath and stick my phone into my pocket.

     "I'll catch the bus, Mom," I say, and slip out the door. When I get outside, I stop and write a message.

     7:01am: Why do you keep trying to guilt trip me? You think it doesn't hurt?

     7:08 am: I'm sorry; that was mean. But every time you say stuff like this, it makes me feel really guilty and s****y. I know it's how you feel, but I'm just saying...it hurts. Also I didn't answer last night because yolo.(just kidding, I get my phone taken away at 10) and I couldn't recieve your picture message.

     7:10am: im not trying to guilt trip you, i just felt like speaking what i feel to you instead of venting to other people. also, it turns out i also cut out of depression, since i did it this morning too.

     7:11am: why

     7:11am: this is the last time im going to be an a*****e about everything, i swear.

     i'd rather not tell you over the phone.

     7:12am: :/

     When I get to school, I hesitantly make my way to the cafeteria. Tuesday's activity period, so everyone will be there, including Nick. He comes up to me and takes my hand.

     "Talk to me," he says.

     "I can't," I say firmly. I can't talk to him alone. We've talked about everything there is to talk about. He walks away and sits on the other side of the bench, and sulks.

     "Come here," Sara mouths. I get up and come over to her. I explain to her what's happening.

     "Can you walk me to the counseling center?" I ask.

     "Of course," we walk in silence and Carrie, my social worker, is busy. I write her a note and leave, and come back to the cafeteria.

     "What's he doing?" whispers Alex, pointing to Nick. I look over. He's scratching his arm. Over and over again. I push Sam towards him. The bell rings. We leave. Alex and I sweat through gym and I play computer games throughout science, until Ms. Wolfer tells me that I need to go down to counseling during homeroom, which is next. I play some more computer games and go straight to the counseling center, and Carrie takes me in. I explain to her everything that's happened, and he explains to me that she'll need to talk to Nick about the cutting. I say that's fine and go back to Latin, waiting for the phone call that will send Nick out of the room. It rings, and Ms. Haymond says, "Don't even answer it. I'm doing the attendence now." No one answers it. "Wait, I did the attendence! It must be something else!" I shift in my seat and she tells Nick to go see Carrie. Nick leaves.

     When class is over, Ms. Haymond has me stay so she can make me a copy of the homework. She says, "You look down, little Meghan. You know what my mom used to tell me? She said to take your problems, throw them in a sack, throw it over your shoulder, put some lipstick on, and brush your hair, and say 'I'm wonderful,'" I smile.

     "Thanks," I say.
When lunch comes, I decide to ditch. I walk around the school for ten minutes, then come here, to the library, where I'm sitting and writing this.

Reviews

[Evan Kayes]

Nicely done, easy to follow and an engaging story. Love to read more :)

[Notthatkindof doc]

I like the texting "drama". It's very realistic - specifically the imperative the young man puts on time. You are talented in your ability to capture that realism - not an easy thing for an author. You are probably too young to have read much early American, but this dialog contrast well with the early American literature featuring letters and depicting the "urgency" that communications weeks apart produced in characters.

Good job. Let me know when you produce more chapters.

[Faith]

Nice, hard to do first person, and I'm really just learning the ins and outs of using it. But I enjoyed it quite a lot! Dialog is so handy with first person, so it is your friend, and its like talking to the reader not just in your mind. Hope this helps, hard for me!

[emman]

this is WOW!I like it so much..well written..you're a very good writer..my eyes are not that clear but I still managed to read it and I loved it so much..

[Craig2591]

It's well written and easy to follow.

No grammatical errors or misspellings that I can find.

Let me know when you write the next chapter.