Chapter 1: From The Beginning

Chapter 1: From The Beginning 

I watched him, I watched him slowly fall to his death. My brother. Matt Managerial. My older brother, my pal, my other half. He laid there, lifeless. I cried, I screamed, I called out for help. No one, not my parents, not even my neighbors could hear me. The man, I still remember his face. He had blue eyes that were so bright you could even see them in the dark, jet black hair that was slicked back, and a glove. He held the gun in his hand, the gun that had killed my brother. He looked at me, then he causally walked out the front door like nothing even happened-

I woke up with sweat dripping down the side of my face and a tear rolling down my cheek. I looked at my alarm clock. 3:45 a.m. it read in those big block red letters. Hello, my name is Scarlett Marie Managerial. I am sixteen years old. I have bright blue eyes, red hair, and freckles sprawled out across my nose. I am an average weight and I am a little short for my age, height, 5'3. Misson: Find Matt's killer. That's all I ever wanted to do. Find Matt's Killer, get revenge. Mom always said "Revenge never solves anything." But this is different, totally different. Matt's dead, nothing will ever be the same. I was eight when he died. Matt was only fourteen. The man, that horrid man. No. The police never caught him. Why would they even care? It's not like they would believe some silly and desperate little eight year old anyway. If I had a list of ten bad things that have ever happened to me, Matt's death would be on the top of the list. If you're wondering who I live with, it would be my aunt. My parents blamed me for Matt's death. But I don't care. They were never right in the head to begin with. I began searching for my brother's killer when I turned fourteen. My friend Arabella and I have been gathering all the information that we can. I will track my brother's killer down, and nothing will stop that. 

Reviews

[Charles Anthony Almanza]

Whao. This is actually good. I am impressed since you're only thirteen. I really like the flow and the voice of the protagonist. She is a believable character and she seems head strong and independent, which is good.

I also found that she did sound a bit younger than a sixteen year old. Maybe if you changed her age to fifteen or even fourteen? That would make it perfect. But other than that, it's good stuff (:

Keep writing Mirella. You're good at it.