Into The Woods

She is walking slowly into the woods, the only sound she hears is the cracking of the leafs beneath her feet and the howling of the animals.. Suddenly a shadow appears behind her
"I can feel you, it's a quiet place you can't sneak" She said smiling

"Who said I'm sneaking?" The shadow replied

"Are you sure you wanna go there?" The shadow said pointing at the other side of the woods

"Yes" She answered simply

"It's a dark place" The shadow warned her

"It's mine, I created this and there is something I hid inside I wanna know what is it and why" She said

"There is a reason why you created me too" The shadow said taking a step towards her

"Why?" She said turning around to look at the shadow only to find her own eyes looking right back at her soul

"To prevent you"

Author's Note

I'd love to hear whatever you think about my writing

Reviews

[Vonnegish]

I really like the concept a lot and would love to see more writing where you elaborate on it (if you choose to of course). I particularly like your format for the dialogue, as well as the short responses given in dialogue by each character. I do believe their is a more cryptic way you could style the nonverbal parts of the responses though. Having a description like "she answered simply" after the "yes" given by the character detracts from the reader feeling like they are fully immersed. Maybe completely taking out those descriptions of the dialogue like some authors do, or shortening them a lot. For a good example of what I am saying you can look at DFW's early novels; even though they are not horror, the lack of description of who is speaking implores the reader to involve themselves more by trying to figure out who is saying what. Other than that fix, I feel like this was good and I would enjoy seeing more!

[Menna Ibrahim]

Thank you so much, this is a part of a collection called "Haunted" It's one style of what I do It's inspired by a series of photos I picked and I write simple captions, there will be more parts but I wanted to try this first... I usually write teen fiction and stories so I'm used to this description to form an image for the readers but you're totally right about shortening them I think that not saying who is talking at all is mysterious which is something I like but I'm afraid it'll be a bit confusing especially in this conversation but I'll make sure to keep it simpler in the future but not all the other parts of the collection are dialogues, some of them are simple statments or a mini paragraph

[Rosalie Kempthorne]

Nice. Succinct. Right on the mark with that ending. Could maybe be strengthened by one or two less adverbs, but overall, very impressive.