Blue Sky

The camera hovers

inches above my head

which must be kept flat

looking away

through the window.

Two lovers might do the same,

one scanning for a response,

one distant, eyes averted.

Thirty minutes to keep still.

Life has led to this and

a square of blue sky

but has not prepared me.

This cold blue sky barely concealing

the absurdity of infinity

has me wondering

at what point

and why

on time's atomic clock 

my particles came together,

and when I'm spent and

re-absorbed,

how long will my particles last.

It's a pitiless blue sky offering

no response,

no doubt the same

a hundred years ago

in this hospital, nothing,

no solace for the wounded

back from the trenches.

The thirty minutes nearly up,

the camera has moved down

my body, silently

like a lover creeping away

for good,

and the panicky thoughts I had

have fled,

for now.

   

         ......................

Reviews

[Eilis]

Excellent foray into the way the mind reacts to the unknown. Especially when the unknown requires us to place ourselves into the care of strangers in strange places to whom we are often little more than a name and date on a calendar.

I like the way the poem explores the coldness of those medical spaces where so much is going on inside of the patient’s mind, but where the illusion of calmness and control dominates the action. The patient is subject and the staff operate under a certain level of detachment that makes feeling of ‘no solace’ you describe color everything.

I particularly like the way relief comes on so quickly at the end here, and all the tension dissipates as though, to continue the lover metaphor, there is an actual physical release. It is like that, the calm after the medical storm, so I really appreciated your approach.

It is both authentic in describing a feeling and creative in its exploration of it.

I should be saying more about your work more often, but I usually read silently and try to figure out how you do what you do. Every poem I’ve read has been so measured and exact. I learn a lot from the reading. I’m glad you are sharing your poems here.

[Gerald Parker]

I like your reading of this poem, which, in fact is only a few weeks old. I'm pleased it seems to communicate successfully. I find as the years go by that metaphor doesn't come so easily and I'm finding the language in this poem to be too bland. Too bland for my liking.

[Eilis]

I thought the plain language created a nice tension when paired with the subject. It made me think of how we can’t exactly explain an experience because we only have words and not the tangibility of emotions at our disposal. As such, language can only convey so much and the rest remains a sort of mystery. Like that lover scanning for a response in the poem. Just my take.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

probably way off here...but this speaks to me of a war veteran who has injuries, but the most damaging are the ones in his head...what he has lost emotionally because of the war...a part of him he can no longer retrieve much like some of my friends who came back from Nam, very different...
powerful and thoughtful this write is.
j.

[Gerald Parker]

Your interpretation works well enough though what I was aiming at was about a full body bone scan I had a couple of weeks ago. Thanks for your comment.