Once you've made your choice you've limited your possibilities

I'd rather be a fly on the wall than a wrecking ball but I simply get the feeling I'm not giving it my all,

what's about to happen? Well I guess it's my call; been up awake for three days, I think I'm about to fall.

One of us is going to a very early grave, I question motives, acts and words and how we  both behave;

was the feeling ever there or did I just pretend? I'm now unsure but what I know is that it needs to end;

all I see is conflict, the passion isn't there and when I'm sleeping downstairs I wonder if I care

about the outcome of this and whether we'll remain together but unhappy and always blocking ou the pain

of solitude, which is ironic, since we're still together - to think that this unhappiness could really last forever.

I never thought it could go wrong in our first throes of lust but now I know testosterone is something I can't trust;

it clouds my judgement, rationale and muddies up my vision - it often makes me unlikely to make the right decision.

How did it ever get this bad? How come I didn't notice? The first six months it felt like heaven and we were the closest

thing that I had had to love in what seemed like an age, but didn't stop to realise we sang from a different page.

Blinded by romantic thoughts of how she'd be my wife, ingnoring negative impacts and the constraints on my life;

unknowingly unsatisfied, denying I'm depressed, I realise that this thing we have just doesn't pass the test.

I'm making up new reasons just so I can be alone and coming out with comments that I normally don't condone;

it doesn't benefit anyone, so I ask why we go on but don't expect an answer when the questions are all wrong.

They tell me love is blind but now I feel more like a mute, we communicate at all, our data don't compute;

we disagree on everything, like what to do and when, I wake up every morning and I'm feeling down again.

Been feeling down so long I guess it looks like up to me, I'm sick of doing nothing - sitting waiting patiently

for things to change or rearrange or even just improve, I spend my time with her alone, what have I got to lose?

Some say you've got to work at it, that things aren't all plain sailing, but how long should you let it slide before you say it's failing?

She dreams of a big wedding day, a dress, a cake, a steeple - she'd better cast her net elsewhere as hell is other people.

 

 

Reviews

[DELETED]

I love the theme and story outlook of this.
You did awesome!
Thanks for sharing

[Nicole]

I really like this. :)
I like the theme of it, it made me smile.
Thinking about the groom. xDD
Its flow is awesome, and "She dreams of a big wedding day, a dress, a cake, a steeple - she'd better cast her net elsewhere as hell is other people." Is my favorite line.
Thanks for sharing.