on Friendships

It's incredible how some people can connect so easily with one another. Like we just "click" and the friendship chemistry is great. Whereas with some people you try to be as nice and as polite to them as much as possible but they just won't click. Somehow there's still that river-wide barrier between u and them. Or even worse, even though you try to be nice and kind to them, you are met with rejection, contempt and mockery. Or a certain degree, varies between the individuals.

I guess it's true. Not everyone can be your close friends. Friends that support you through life's thick and thin. You are there for them and they are there for you. Very very precious people. Sometimes the initial connection is effortless, but if you want to keep it, both parties have to work at maintaining the friendship.

And when you find one party is not making the same effort, or giving their time and love into the relationship, it'll just be painful for the other party. Backstabbing, gossiping, cheating, those things ruin a friendship. Or some people are just not interested to be your friends to begin with, or somewhere along the way they decide to turn against you. These things are often unavoidable. Circumstances like to play funny tricks in our lives. Identify these things early, and you can avoid to continue giving or opening yourself too much in the relationship, and it will reduce some emotional pain. Withdrawing emotionally from someone is a good way not to get hurt, you don't need to hate them, but your heart is far from them.

Speaking of which, what then are the ingredients of friendship? First and foremost, love, and honesty. If you can be yourself with the other person and the other person with you, that's it. You are interacting without the covers of masks, and oh how liberating it is! To be able to be honest and open to each other, and not be judges for who you are!

Which brings back to the scenario with people you can't be close friends with. Due to the personality make-ups, personal past life experiences, upbringing and values, people interact and interpret things differently. Many times you just find with certain people you are forced to put on certain masks. You are prevented from being your own self. Perhaps main reasons being you are afraid the other persons will judge you, condemn you and dislike you for how you are really like. People do that unconsciously. It is so easy to turn down or turn away from certain attributes in people that you don't respect, like or favour. It's human nature.

Blessed art thou who hath found true friends! Friends whom you can be naked emotionally with, who loves you and doesn't judge you. And if you find yourself in an environment with few or no true friends, don't be dismayed, keep on looking for those friendships, for to those who seek shall find in the end. Cherish all that you have, and refrain from being jealous of what other people have, coz they don't have what you have too... and you'll feel happier.