Argument with My Brother

Today I had an argument with my brother.

I told him not to feel bad if we have arguments. Arguments are common, and they are actually opportunities to bring the people closer and better understand each other's perspectives when resolved well. Tensions often build up and explode into an argument, but as long as the conflict is resolved after the argument with talking it out and communicating, and both parties own to the mistakes they made (because both parties always have faults in a conflict), arguments can be resolved well and this can be beneficial. So please dont always look at arguments infavourably.

I should not curse at my brother as well.

I told my brother that if I lose my temper, to not blame himself for that. It is definitely not his fault that I have a bad temper and if I choose to lose my temper in a situation that involves him. I can choose not to lose my temper even though he said something that may provoke it. Especially if it is not his intention to make me lose my temper, he should not feel bad or responsible for it.
Many things in the world are out of our control, and we don't need to blame ourselves for every single argument or bad things or problem or difficulty that happen. We can work to solve the problems and overcome the difficulties, but we do not feel bad about ourselves if bad things happen or if we make mistakes. Feeling bad about ourselves is very harmful to our self-esteem and self-worth, and is not good at all.

It is good to take responsibilities for things that we can change, own it and change for the better. But there are some things in life that are not within our control and therefore is not our responsibility, and we just need to let it go, along with any emotions attached to it. Somebody hurt you, let you down, shouted at you. Of course you were angry. But what they did were out of your control. But we can control what we can- our reactions, our thoughts, emotions and perspectives about it. Accept that the person is (insert word here-e.g. temperamental/dishonest/irresponsible/lazy/rough/fake,etc) and we are free to choose what we want to do next after that. We accept and move on, and we don't carry the emotional baggage.

This writing is for my dear brother. Hope you learn something from it, man :)