Dad

Currently me and my father have been on edge and to me this is one of my best writings but it's just how I feel

I don't know what I've become
A disappointing daughter?
A stupid teen?
I don't feel like your hero anymore..
And it makes me sad
I stopped trying to live up to your expectations
I guess in a sense I'm doing me
I feel like I've lost your support
Maybe I over react
But I don't feel like daddy's little girl anymore
I leave the house to escape the look of pure disappointment
To not deal with the thought that I may not be good enough
I don't come to you with my problems because I don't know how to tell you them
I don't know how to talk to you because what if the next words out of my mouth are wrong
I brought animals home and you had to take them away because we didn't have room
I don't do chores around the house because I'm never around
I don't have the energy to get up in the morning because I am depressed
I don't feel loved by you because you expect me to just know it
I hear riah why didn't you do this
Riah the jobs not done
In my mind I hear
Riah I don't want you around
I feel alone in the house So I trap my self in my room and hope to god that when I come out I don't see that awful look that I get every time just by walking past you
Daddy I still love you
I want to be who you want me to be but I can't
I like smoking weed occasionally
I like to take a swig once In a while
And I like to hang out with my friends
But I promise I'll try to do better
I'm going to college soon
And I hope it doesn't become to much
I feel as if my place in this world is nonexistent
I feel as if the world came crashing down right now no one would save me
I feel if I ran into a tree on the side of the road not one person would shed a tear
I'm sorry....
I know I don't write the happiest things
But in all honesty I'm not a happy person
I smoke my vape and hope that I get namonya and die
I drink to loosen up and hopefully never wake up in the morning
And I leave so that you won't miss me when my time comes before yours
But I did something right
I got Frankie so he could help me survive
I know that's stupid but he's my best friend
I've put you and mom through a lot of things
Even then I acted ungrateful
And I am truly sorry
This poem came from my heart
I read it over around six times a day
I don't know why but I just do
It doesn't rhyme
It is not forced
I love you dad and I hope I get the courage to read this to you because I feel it's essential for you to hear