The cafe

This will be part of my book but its a nice all by itself. I hope you enjoy.

We sat in that small cafe. She’d ordered what amounted to a Denny's grand slam two sides of toast some chain link sausages, eggs, and of course bacon. I’d spent all day with butterfly’s in my stomach. I’d run scenarios through my head on how I might say it. Would we kiss afterward when we walked back to her car. These thoughts went through my head as I just sat there admiring her smile. She had dark curly hair and eyes that were more unique than most. From a distance, you might’ve thought her eyes to be brown or hazel but on closer inspection, her eyes had hints of blue and yellow. Our dinner conversation seemed to be winding down and I found that my chance to tell her how much I absolutely adored her was slowly coming to a close. So in a move of panic, I quickly started to form sentences almost in explanation of what I was wanting to say.

 “Sooo, I’ve had butterflies in my stomach most of today because I’ve been meaning to tell you that… I like you. I mean... I think of you in more than a platonic way.”

 She half smiles and gets that face that you might expect someone to have after they’ve seen a cute puppy (I knew then my chances were not good). She looks like she is having a hard time so I try and fill the space with conversation just to avoid any awkward silence. I knew I shouldn’t have used the word platonic… We walk back to her car as she says that she needs to process… this again is not a good sign. I hug her before she gets in her car and move to get in my own. I sat alone in my car and felt like that cute dress in the store that most girls just can't decide whether they want and ultimately leave behind as they search for better options elsewhere.

Reviews

[Octavia]

I enjoyed this little blurb. It was a quick read, but the character comes across. I like his voice, especially at the end where he is analyzing his word choice as if this would have made a difference in the outcome of the date. The last image is also really strong- that impression of being a rejected piece of merchandise is creative, relatable and powerful. Nice work.

[miahstr]

Thank You! I appreciate the review. Its only part of a larger story but I felt that alone this little blurb could be related to even out of the context of the rest of the story.

[Gee]

It stands tall on its own. I enjoy this type of writing especially when written this well, loved how you closed it.

[miahstr]

Thank you! I enjoyed writing it. Haha, you are more confident about my writing than I am. Glad you enjoyed it though!!

[Jane de Deus]

Love it. I've just joined this site and feel very lucky to have stumbled upon writing that I already feel excited about. I'm usually very skeptical. And lazy about reading. Thank you for making it worth my while.

[miahstr]

I am glad that you enjoyed this. I just joined the site myself recently. I have been met already with great feedback. I had fun writing this, it will be integrated into a book I am writing. However, I felt that it stood pretty well on its own.

[Brooke]

This was such a good read. I enjoyed reading this. I love a male's perspective on a girl he finds so irresistible that he runs through various outcomes even though the date may be so simplicit.

[miahstr]

Thank you! I really enjoyed writing this part of my book. I can myself remember running through situations in my head in similar circumstances. Our optimism gets the better of us and we try to imagine how wonderful things could go. Only to find ourselves falling flat on our faces. I am sure many guys can relate. lol