Lost

A Poem by Princesstearss

Where am I ?

1,234. That is the number of times I find myself questioning whether or not I was worth it. 45,643. That is the number of times I cried about it.298734 those are the times my heart felt like it was all the way up in my throat . These are just random numbers you see , but the way I saw it all of these situations took most of me & put my tears in a bottle just to be mocked for eternity. I really think I am okay , or at least I think I am only because I can get through the day. What is lost ? The term I mean , like when you don't know where you're going or you don't know what you've seen? They say cry me a river & so a river hasn't seem to formed but there is the cold of the water that kind of makes you shiver . Finding a place to call home & when you are "lost" that is where you seek. Not functioning lately hours, days,weeks. Many of us are waiting to be found. Like if you'll find your way staying quiet and sound. Someone will come wearing a superhero suit or a crown. But what happens when you are lost on a place of your own, a place that you have examined & lived through & been used to & created into . Those are you're thoughts in your mind . Like who would've thought ? The most scariest place is in my head that is mine. Not only mine but me , and you ever wondered the possibility that WE are so caught up in the place we call "home" that we have became lost in that place of our own. What are you doing ? I don't really know , because making this my problem wasn't a plan to be taken. Like, what are you talking about have you been mistaken, I let it go with the flow , but I have been forsaken in the making. Maybe that is why I am lost , they've taken me as a pearl but I have been under cost. So where am I? At this time ? What have I seen? Where can I find? They're all jumbled in my head the words I said , the words they said . I'm supposed to know but I don't instead. Like some leaf in it's own tree but it's a different color than it's meant to be . And now I wonder if i am that leaf ? Lost in it's own branch , thinking she just can't, tears and a new distant laugh. Mockery or happiness could be either or , lost and not found but me myself can find what I'm looking for .