love- the ultimate lie

pree editing- looking for first opinions

for 17 years i believed this lie.
i believed in these fairytale stories
of love conjuring all
in the idea of a kiss
breathing new life
into a once broken man
oh how foolish I was
not to see what was right before me

my mum showed me the truth
as much as she would tell me the lie
she told me how love breaks a person
how it fools you into seeing only the good in a person
no matter how well it hides
and one kiss could heal that person
and that love would prevail.
she told me all this bullshit
but all I will remember
is how love made her stay with a man that hit her
and abused her.
shouted and belittled her
a man who made our lives hell for 6 years
and how once free
she went and found another
who made us homeless and tore my family apart
but even then
i still hung onto the lie

im watching these actors
preaching the lie i love
and i realise
im looking at s**t
idealist s**t made to make money
lies that do not care for any damage they do
its now i realised that when the girl i love said no
she did not lie
that what she said was the first truth of love i had ever heard
"i would break you michael"

she tried to set me free of this curse
but love doesn't give up so easily
it breaks me anyway
it sends me in spirals of depression
forces tears from my eyes on many a night
warps my dreams and my image of life
makes me hate myself
makes me jealous of those that she loves
and hateful of those who dare hurt her
it torments and tortures me with the fact that i have lost
that she will never love me
that i will always be alone
all i know is that
if this is what happens this side of a relationship
i never wont to know what is waiting on the other side

so im glad iv never had a girlfriend
never kissed a girl
never just held her for hours
or gone out for a romantic meal,
watched a movie and never taken my eyes from hers
im glad she never believed me when i said i loved her
im glad she never said she loved me

that's a lie.

Author's Note

all iv dun is spelt check it because this iss all true and if i read it through again tonight i wont sleep

Reviews

[Lottie]

Your poem is powerfully aggressive and really expresses your hurt. I feel it is a gret oversight of your outlook of love you have experienced, through your realtiosnhips of your mum's, your relationship with your mum and then this girl. I especially loved the ending and although its my favourite bit. I am still naive to think it could have a silver lining.
Love and hate are passionate emotions and as powerful as one another... unfrotunately neither make it easy on us. The people worth loving won't lie to you and if they hurt you, their the ones worth forgiving.