Listen

Can you hear me?
My eyes are turned towards the floor
Give me a reason to love you
I promise I won’t ask for more
A lonely existence
A connection that matters
Can you see me?
I'm right over here
Watching you from a distance
My vision of you is clear
Give me a reason to hold on
I promise I won’t drag you down
A life of disappointment
A hand reaching out for forgiveness
Can you touch me?
My clothes are on the ground
I am naked
I feel the warmth of your skin
Give me a reason to want you
I promise I’ll ask for more

Reviews

[Misa]

Awww, l like the flip to this - promising to not ask for more, then guaranteeing you will. Adds a nice ring & touch of finality to it, as well as a sense of... peace, perhaps. Back to the finality thing anyway. Did notice a few minor things, like the use of "I am" seemed too many syllables for the one line (I am right over here) - to me it felt it should've read "l'm right over here," to ease the pacing of the poem. Aside from that, though, this was quite nicely done. :)