in pieces

I have carried pieces of you

across the world

this spring

in search of myself

in search of you

returning home to Cardiff

I scattered pieces of you

into the flower beds

against thirsty earth

and on the spot- still warm-

where you had laid on

the living room floor

the most beautiful woman in the

world, yes she was once here

once in a lifetime

never to return

flying over the Alps

I let pieces of you fall

like snowflakes

onto white scalps

where shoulders gave

away to greens and brown

you dropped slowly

time always beyond your reach

your memory- unchangeable

unshakeable like the mountain

on an island off Cannes

as I embraced the 

relentless blue

I let my fingers caress

the water first

dissolving pieces of you

into the patient waves

we swam together 

like children that afternoon

change of scene

new continent

the sun burned pieces

of you into my shining palms

so I pressed you into

the red Zintan sands

-it had protected my cousins

now its task was to 

protect you

each piece of you

like dust

like ash

like tears

an inhalation 

of light and defeat

the bittersweet sting

and the hope that

keeps me running

but still so many pieces

fill my hands

spilling between the fingers

each one heavier than the

last- heavy like a sleepy

smile resting on your lips

I’ll carry them home to

you for they are 

no longer mine

so I can begin to find

the pieces of

me I left behind

in the shadows of your

sparkling hair

in the corners of your

green eyes

each freckle another

piece of me

I left with you

not just for safe keeping

but yours to have forever

some pieces can 

never be taken back

nor should they be

they are yours

even when you

forget where each

piece fits

or when each 

piece first arrived

naive, wide-eyed, bounding

into your life

like a lion cub