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We Love...

We Love...

A Poem by Mai L Nissen
"

A reflection on the end of my 6 year long relationship with a a man, who suffered from depression and alcoholisim .

"

I am here
You are here
Not quite living
Not quite dying
We are here
We are here, in this space

I exist
You exist
Not quite living
Not quite dying
We exist
We exist, next to each other

I love
You love
Not quite living
Not quite dying
We love
We love, indifferently

I hate
You hate
Not quite there
Not quite leaving
We hate
We hate, whole-heartedly

I hurt
You hurt
Not quite living
Not quite loving
We hurt
We hurt alone

I am here
You are gone
Not quite living
Not quite loving
We are gone
We are gone forever

Mai L. Nissen 2011

© 2015 Mai L Nissen


Author's Note

Mai L Nissen
Art by Ditte Løfgren
http://ditteloefgren.com

I welcome any constructive criticism and suggestions

My Review

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Featured Review

I was hoping to see one of your pieces today:)
I really enjoyed this piece, the repetition is a really great idea
for a piece like this, reinforced feeling if you will.
It is sad, but these things happen and I'm sure you are stronger
and wiser cause of it! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts on it :) Glad that it came across as intended. Stron.. read more



Reviews

It is a very crisp write. The repetition of your words smoothen the poem. Phenomenal writing and what a way to propose.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words, Terrence! Though, I am not sure what you mean by propose?
Terrence Chang

5 Years Ago

Sorry for my for my words I ment was prosper in a sense of walking together with love
Mai... This is a rhythmic, almost haunting, description of the last gasps of a dying love. A reminder, a mantra almost, of the constant hurt and pain endured at a time like this. The one thing that I seem to want is an emphasis in the form on an ending, maybe a line inserted before "We are gone forever" and then the last line set apart by itself... Closure. But maybe that is not reality and the pain still lives, almost as if the stanzas could march on and on and on... Either way it is a heartfelt piece and well done! Thanks for sharing!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

Thank you for your insights, Jeff. I will think about your suggestion and see what I can come up wit.. read more
Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

Don't know how to do it... I can only think to add something rather than redo the last stanza:
.. read more
Awesome a space where love remains and words just bring the pain.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
I am sorry that you had to experience this Mai. 6 years is a long time. I really connected with this one. I have been 100% abstinent now for 4 years - the stealth of this affliction is what makes it deadly - drinkers often play down the role of alcohol, saying they are 'social drinkers' but a point comes when they can't hide behind that - usually its too late by then. i buried a friend of mines two weeks ago who died horribly from a combination of alcohol related diseases.

It must have been hard to pen such a personal write but Im glad you did. It really illuminates the darkness that drinkers inflict when they are consuming alcohol and hopefully it will have a positive effect on some readers.




The format of this - with its repetition, would make a great song I feel.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

Yeah, it kinda sucked :)
I am sorry about your friend - and that you too had to go through t.. read more
ANTO

5 Years Ago

I wrote a song that was in a similar vein called "You Pay" - because some people see drinkers as was.. read more
Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

The drinker certainly pays! Probably one of the reasons I stayed, was because despite his manipulate.. read more
I was hoping to see one of your pieces today:)
I really enjoyed this piece, the repetition is a really great idea
for a piece like this, reinforced feeling if you will.
It is sad, but these things happen and I'm sure you are stronger
and wiser cause of it! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts on it :) Glad that it came across as intended. Stron.. read more
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You have a done a great job using the excellent list of verbs you used, to describe the piercing reality of these two heartbreaking realities. My heart goes out to you..

Posted 5 Years Ago


Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! I appreciate it :)
Well written. I like the rhythm and the message in that rhythm.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

Thank you, Yusuf!
Very nice flow of words and thoughts. You led the reader to a sad ending. I like the description. Making the reader feel the emotions of the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mai L Nissen

5 Years Ago

I am glad that you could engage with the emotions, that means a lot! I was very scared to share this.. read more
Coyote Poetry

5 Years Ago

You did very well. A strong poem with emotional value.

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Added on February 25, 2015
Last Updated on May 18, 2015
Tags: #love, #hurt, #hate, #exist, #alone, #forever

Author

Mai L Nissen
Mai L Nissen

Odense, Region Syddanmark, Denmark



About
I am 30 years old, a graduate student from Denmark, studying English (literature, history, linguistics) and Scientific Study of Religion. If you wish to befriend me, I would like you to read some .. more..

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