Rhythms in Life

Rhythms of life is everywhere around me

The whistle of the wind does so entice me

The beating of my heart is just the start

The crackle of the ice as it slowly falls apart

Do we move too quickly in our everyday?

How fragile is our state of mind…decay?

 

Did we miss the offerings of morning dew?

Is it time to give way to the old anew?

Simplicity, serenity, wholeness and eternity

 

This is what I long for, to touch hear and see

 

May I slow down to beckon its voice once more

 

To let my own souls perceptions be an open door

I will promise myself to live and soon become alive

Only constant bussing around will be the bee hive

 

Awe sweet rhythms found everywhere full of life

I will transplant you were there once was strife

I will hear your song sung in every living thing

I will join in and let my hearts rhythm sing

Reviews

[SHEEMA HUQ]

absolutely beautiful

the content very agreeable

this is a masterpiece, you generously take your reader with you on your journey

"Simplicity, serenity, wholeness and eternity
This is what I long for, to touch hear and see"

Indeed my friend, the highest and ultimate path of healing I should imagine

[Mark]

Very nice but the misspellings and grammar issues take away from your poem. Clean those up and it's first rate. :)

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

will do ;)

[TPK Stories]

Loved it! So full of beauty!

[Mr Dunne Poetry]

I love this piece. Thanks for sharing MC :)

[Sami Khalil]

A nice poem...:)

[Eddie Phillips]

Life is all about rhythms. I enjoyed the wordplay and flow of this poem. Thanks for sharing. I will be reading more of your poems.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for the amazing poem. Always a pleasure to read your words.
"Did we miss the offerings of morning dew?
Is it time to give way to the old anew?"
Good to to open doors to new opportunities. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Rhythms in life... yes, thank you for reminding us, Melody. You are not alone in your longing. Life is fragile. Peace and happiness, however fleeting, precious. Thanks for a great poetic message.

[theking]

I'm going to say this straight. I loved it. I loved that you had a consistent, apparent rhyme scheme, and that you maintained a rhythmic quality throughout the whole poem. I could see it being either a song or a poem, and both ways I think its gorgeous. Its simple, yet uses diction that is definitely enticing and intriguing, such as serenity, transplant and anew. Not words of great complexity but they add a layer of beauty to the poem that wouldn't have been there otherwise.

I am going to say, if you were going for a simple, beautiful poem that isn't too complex, and just expresses emotion, than this was perfect. However, if you were trying for a more classical, mystical approach I would try to have maybe a different meter or make it more complicated as a whole. The piece is a little too simple for a real poetic masterpiece, but that doesn't mean that it isn't gorgeous. I love poetry like this myself. Thanks for uploading this!

Keep up the good work, and rate my review if you found it helpful :)

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I love the one oxymoron I feel is valid…simply complex. I love simplicity! I love how deeply complex what I say in the most simplest of words can hold a deeper meaning. Most everything I write is written with the simplest of words and yet carry a very deep meaning, that is just who I am. What I write is technically not “poetry” and I am very much ok with that. It is simply how I both speak and write all the time. Thank you kindly for you words and you time. I am as always humbled when others visit my work.