Dear Winifred, Sep. 9

Warning, Trump supporters leave, NOW!

This advice column was forgotten on election day, in 

Winifred's underwear drawer, and since she rarely 

feels the need to change, or wash, her dainties, it 

was undiscovered until now.

Dear Winifred

Dear Winifred, I live alone, and don't own a car, but 

I'll get out to vote, because America needs a strong, 

decisive president, after the deliberate, 

contemplative one we've had for the last eight years. 

We need a president who almost acts without 

thinking, if you know what I mean, goes by his gut, 

and good judgment; signed America First

Dear America First; you should remember to change 

your gravy-stained Fox News tee-shirt before leaving 

your log cabin and walking the 10 miles to town to 

vote. You should also emulate your can-do-no-wrong 

hero, and just grab any woman you see by the p***y; 

trust me, all women secretly want it, just ignore the 

slap. I'm using my good judgment right now; I'm 

judging you to be a f*****g idiot--Winifred