It Flitters By

 

 

The 9 AM write paid

off in spades

it seems...

 

A butterfly floated

by and landed on my finger

bright, shimmering,

causing my heart

to beat, re-beat, rip

through my throat

 

It wasn't expected

I had a secret hope

that it would fly by,

the whisperings

of new words, new digs,

but I am getting

too far ahead of myself.

 

I can't get myself

excited over such a fickle

thing as inspiration

shouted, no...laughing

through the wires

 

even though it all

came

rushing

back

in a

second.

Reviews

[Markymark]

I like this write. One small suggestion (yeah I know....it sucks to get a real critique)
Of course inspiration is fleeting, and comes in spurts and fits sometimes. It is, as you write, fickle. This stanza:

I can't get myself

excited over such a fickle

thing as inspiration

shouted, no...laughing

through the wires

I would maybe write it like this

Shouted, No--Laughing (double dash, with laughing in italics)

For me it would read easier this way...but who am I?

Kudos on a good point in a poem, and yeah it eventually always comes rushing back (when it wants too...I don't think it like to be rushed, and even flies off when we try to capture it).

Mark

[Arthur Henn]

Your style of writing stands out as an artist that can and will paint what signals the heart sends to the mind to read for you to write and share.

Amazing -- Keep writing-- Never stop

Art

[Narnie]

I am so glad that butterfly stopped. Beautiful trickle tiptap of words here, Amber. xxx

[cest la vie]

What a delightful read.. Inspiration can come at the most unexpected times, hence, we grab it and go..
Lovely write..I dig your writing style, really do:-)

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Angelheaded Hipster,

Do you have a fascination with dispensation of time? Lol, this and a couple other poems I've read have "3 AM" and "9 AM" or something to that affect in it. Thank you for the read request again.

To the poem: The flow starts out well, moving it upwards into the body of your poem and then back to the smaller flow. An interesting flow. Good word usage. Good visualization in imagery of the metaphors butterfly and yourself. Or if it isn't a metaphor and a butterfly literally caused you to have your heart pulled out of your throat, then I'm avoiding butterflies. Lol. Good theme. You feel inspired to write this as you write, is what I sensed. I really liked this. n_n Kudos. 9.6/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I can't get myself
excited over such a fickle
thing as inspiration
shouted, no...laughing
through the wires

I had to laugh at that, inspiration loves to come at the most inappropriate times and leaves without saying goodbye... this was really ingenious, I love it.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"When a butterfly lights on you it is sharing the gospel of God's love for the butterfly drinks only nectar and knows the sweetest secrets of life." Marilyn Franklin (my mother)....I don't know if that is true but it certainly is a wonderful thought. I love this poem!