The Prayer

The day was different, not exactly usual but not normal either. It was busy and there was a lot to do. When everything was finished and done with she was going to read her book and fall asleep soon after she was done. But that's not what God had in mind... She was dealing with things, yes, but not anything that could break her heart in pieces... There was always two holes in her heart, one that she filled with Gods love and the other was waiting for a mans love. For a long while she didn't find the guy to fill the puzzle piece she was missing in her heart; yes, there was many trials and failures, mostly caused by fear. Finally, she thought she found her 'one' but he just ended up being another infatuation, one of great strength, but not love. Soon after the girl became a woman and wanted to really step out and try. " no more fear" she thought "fear hold you back from your future. God please give me courage, I have none."

God answered her prayers, recent and old. Before, she asked for a 'dark knight' which God gave her, she asked if he was her soul mate and then asked when will she be with her soul mate. The woman thought that he responded with a "yes" but wasn't quite sure, so she assumed. The answer that he for sure gave her was "19". "What did he mean.? 19? That's such a strange answer... " She thought to herself "So I will be with him when she turns 19? I'm almost 17, that's so long. How can I wait so long.? I need patience...Lord, I need patience." Thankfully, The Lord answered her prayer and gave her enough patience to last her until she turned 19.

It was when she was 18 and 1/2 that things became a little more complicated. Yes, one hole had been filled, but the other was still yearning for a man's love and affection. One night, the woman asked The Lord to give her a man that was affectionate, showed his feelings for her-for she was blind as a bat when it comes to a guy liking her-, romantic, smart, tall or at least taller than me,one she found very attractive, loved Him as much as she did and last but not least, loved her with all his heart. Yes, it did occurs to her that this such man would be almost impossible to find, it there is an actual man that existed in this century. Non the less, the woman believed that if she asked him, he will either say "yes" or "I have something better in mind". that was the case of course, she asked the right question and he gave it -or rather him- to her.

It was July, I believe, when they met. The woman pleaded her mom for her to stay with her cousins for a while. "There I will have a taste of independence" she said. She has been shy all her life and wanted to get over all her fears, including the fear of being without her mom. She full well knew that her cousins would make her do stuff that she was always afraid to do, as in talk to people by herself or order something. She had to get over it. She wanted to be on her own and this is the only way she will learn. Her mom understood fully for she was the same when she was younger. She got to stay wit them and the fourth day she stayed with them, they took her to tiquando with them and their two sons. She sat on the hard metal chairs that were placed out for guests and watched her friend, the tiquando instructor, tell the class what to do. After a while her mind wondered a bit until a movement from her right caught her eye. The woman thought she was just seeing her friend's dad move but it wasn't him, it was a boy that looked similar to her friend. When the dad moved she could see clearly enough to study his face. White blonde hair, big blue eyes surrounded with long lashes, white skin, pail pink lips. He was handsome and he seemed to be tall. She found him attractive, yes, very attractive indeed. The woman never really found many men attractive even if he was really handsome, she was never really attracted to him or pulled towards him as she felt now. She wanted to talk to him, but wasn't sure how. She was drawn out of her thoughts by the instructor dismissing class and then she realized that she was staring at him the whole time.

As the woman's cousins were changing back to their normal clothes she glanced at him. "Was he reading a book??" She thought, astonished. She didn't know much about guys but she knew that the ones she was familiar with did NOT read books. "Good, he likes book. At least that's a subject I can talk to him about... " Books have been her whole life; she learned about everything she knew from books she has read. She didn't know much about the world outside of her books, but she knew that it was different. "Maybe I should try talking to him... No I might cry from embarrassment... Or worse...the pure enjoyment of him looking at me. " She thought. Nothing happened that day but they did look at each other for a while before he scrambled off to tease her little cousin. "He was cute...maybe too cute. I don't like cute guys because they know they are cute and use it anyway they can. I hope he isn't like that...I hope he is.....I don't know...perfect well, at least for me" that night she told her cousin she thought he was attractive and that she liked him.

The next day they ended up going to her friends house for the first time. There she realized a shocking thing, HE WAS HER BROTHER. She knew her friend had lots of brothers nd sisters but she never met anyone older than her so the woman assumed she was the oldest. Well, she did have older siblings, two actually, but only one older brother and that just happened to be him. It's not that She minded... At least it wasn't a one time thing;At least she got to see him again. When she realized that he was her brother, he was strolling down the stares, taking three steps at a time. He looked about 6'7" she couldn't tell exactly but she was pretty sure. he was wearing black jeans and a black t- shirt that made him looked like he was wearing a suit. The all black clothes made his blonde hair, blue eyes and his pail pink lips look more vibrant. Honestly, he was the hottest guy that the woman has ever seen. Her knees would of buckled under her and would of fallen from the site of him if she wasn't already sitting down. She thought that he might be too hot to like a plain, ugly girl like her. She prayed that he would notice her and she would have the courage to talk to him.

After the woman went back home, she finally had enough courage to talk to him. "But how.? He is so far away..." She wondered if he had a Facebook and she used some of her stocking skills too find him through her cousins and them his sisters account-she didn't know his name but she did know two things: he would have the same last name as his sisters, and she knew what he looked like. "That might be enough to find him... " she thought. Thankfully, it was and she began talking to him, then after a while skypeing with him. The woman never realized how interested she was with him. She kind of felt like Edward and Bella from twilight, except she was Edward. From her shyer days she learned to be very observant so she would have an idea of what the other people were about to say or do, but for some odd reason she couldn't read him. This made her want to talk to him more, maybe if she knew him well enough she could read him.

She was afraid that he was going to reject her like so many people have in her past...but she had a small feeling that if she kept being persistent, it wouldn't end up like that. After a month or so of talking things moved pretty fast, the woman liked him too much to give him the opportunity to to think about rejecting her. So she pushed the idea of being his girlfriend on him; she even asked his sister to 'suggest' the idea to him. Well he did ask her and she said yes but he had to call her dad and ask also. She could see that he really didn't want to but he did anyway. She want sure if he really did like her or the fact was that he really just wanted a girlfriend, didn't matter who. My dad told him yes, and it scored big points with him for a guy actually going through the trouble of asking the dads permission, something he wouldn't of been able to do with my mom.

The week or so the woman was allowed to stay with her cousins again, which meant she could spend time with her first really boyfriend in person. She was so excited but scared to death. He invited her to church with him and it took her A couple days to even find something to wear. She met him at his house around 6:10 am and waited for his pastor to give them a ride to church. She was so nervous that she didn't talk to him while they waited, just nodded her head. It ended up a wonderful day for they held hand, something she hasn't done with a guy more than once. She spent the week with him walking, and even watched a movie at her cousins house and it was so fun and such a wondrous experience to her. Unfortunately, that following Thursday morning, he had to leave to camp and during the time he was at camp, She would have to go home. Oh Wednesday night, after he went home I was,so depressed I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. My cousin saw how sad I was that I wouldn't be able to see him before he left, she offered to take me over there early so I could saw a proper good bye. We hugged,awkwardly, but it felt good when he held her tight, it felt right. And that is when he whispered the three little words that came to mean so much to her now. He said "I love you". The woman was shocked, this was the only time that she actually might feel the same way towards a person. She didn't say anything, she didn't know what to say. "Did he really mean it.? Did I hear him correctly.?" Ran though her head. She was releast from the embrace and got in the van quietly. After a while of her cousin driving towards her apartment, She told her that what he said. She told her simply that he doesn't get out much so if he said it he must really mean it. She just responded with "okay" and Continued letting her mind wonder about it. The next day she stayed in bed almost all day from depression and thinking too much about what he said. She didn't want to say it back until she actually meant it, she wasn't sure but she thought that for the first time in her life, she loved a guy and he loved her back. She smiled at the thought.

Almost 9 months together is where she is at now. Happily in love, never had a problem with her relationship, only enjoyed each others company and talked non stop. From what she gathered from the many books she has read soul mates are suppose to fight and make up that's how you really know its true love, but they never had a fight. Their relationship was almost perfect, until now. The woman went to Arizona and, still talking to her boyfriend non stop, got a call that almost made her want to rip out her own heart. She knew that he was just being honest about his feelings; she knew he didn't want to break up but he has been having problems that he needed to fix. He felt as if they were just friends not really boyfriend and girlfriend; He felt that to really be with her he needed to be with God too, something he isn't sure about. She told him that she didn't want to tell him this but she felt God pressing it on her heart, so with hot tears running down her face she said " I don't want to tell you this but I feel that I need to. If you don't figure this problem out, I'm afraid that we shouldn't be together. I don't want to break up with you but I just feel that I needed to say that." With all her heart she didn't want to say those words, she loved him with all her heart and did not want to without him. He was her other half, he was the only man that She had ever felt there was something missing when he wasn't with her. She couldn't bear to lose him.

After we said goodnight, The woman hung up the phone and leaned against the closet wall. Even the thought of losing him brought a flood of hot tears to her eyes. With shaking hands she put down the phone and prayed to God about it. "I truly hopes it motivates him to find the problem nd fix it; I can't even bare the thought of not talking to him everyday. To not tease him or kiss him or even be held by him when I'm sad. It would be pure torture. Lord, please help him. Lead him on the right path, a path that leads him to you and to me. Help him, please."

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[MoE]

There are a lot of mistakes I know but I was crying when I wrote this and it was really late at night... So yeah.