That Look

Don't think me blind
Nor dumb
I see it,
The way you look at me.
You ask me how can I not see?
You say it is so obvious.
You see, I've trained myself for years
to discard looks such as this.
It is not because I don't feel the same
But because it was the only way I could protect myself.
I've waited so long for the right one
The one God chosen for me
That I've forgotten how to let you in.

I've been going about this all wrong.
I wasn't myself.
I acted as if I was a fourteen year old girl
Just introduced into the world of 'boys'
When I met you,
my mind seemed to shut down.
I lost my sence
My humility.

I've grown in the last 10 months I've known you.
You opened my eyes
And your opinions have set me straight.
I've been portraying myself as a trouble maker
But my friends really know who I am.
I will forever be considered their mom.
For I wasn't born to live to take care of myself
But for others.
I've been given gifts to know what others need,
connect with others,
And be someone they can lean on.

I am still reminding myself of who I am
And still finding out what kind of woman I am.
I just want to let you know I'm thankful for you.
For God gave me what I needed:
A man that's opinion I respect above all else
A friendship that I believe would be prosperous
And a future husband that I believe I would love most deeply.

You may not see because I have not let you
But When you stop looking at me
I look at you with that same look.
I feel the same as you.
I honestly say I don't think I'll ever stop.