Don't Cry for Me

Don’t cry for me

Don’t cry for me, I did not fall,

Picked myself up, climbed that wall.

Reached the top, with no looking back,

Jumped down to freedom, free from my pack.

All alone, I cleared the tide,

Somehow I made it, I survived.

I’m not that girl, who had to leave,

She is gone, no need to grieve.

She hurts no more, in my dreams,

She is happy, or so it seems.

She could not make it, to the other side,

She had to stay, so I could survive.

If she came along with me,

The world would know, they all could see.

The pain inside she had endured,

I let her go, that was my cure.

Washed myself, with sweat and tears,

Wiped away all those years.

So cry for her if you must,

She was me, before the cusp.

I cleared that breach, by myself,

She stayed back there, on the shelf.

I could not bring her, here with me,

Without her here, I can be free.

Reviews

[Indie Skreet]

nicely portrayed Dawn. Survival of the fittest, which I too have written about, but not in the same way. Nice to read you are one of the fitter ones :)

[Monster ^.^]

Changing oneself is a feat only the brave and the smart can do. I must say, this shows how you value self preservation and the like. Problems of the past are just that, in the PAST. so we must forget them to move on... nice build up.

But I think there is a slight cripple of idea there

"Don’t cry for me, I did not fall,
Picked myself up, climbed that wall."

Why did she pick herself up if she did not fall? I thought over the entire poem and this is what the intro should be, in my opinion:

Don’t cry for me, Though I did fall,

It makes sense why the protagonist warns the reader to not cry though they feel pity to him/her. Plus, in the near end, she explained how pitiable her original self was, which would then be parallel to the intro if she did fall...

Well, it is my opinion :)

[dawn aulis]

Thank you for the comments, I should explain that what I wrote was exactly what I meant to say. If one starts at the bottom, you have to pick yourself up, do you not? And also if if no one ever had expectations of you, and you met your own in spite of them, then they should not cry for what you once were. I was not looking for pity, I was explaining how I felt I had persevered in spite of obstacles. I understand that you could not know or understand my past, so your comments are based on how you viewed the poem. So I thank you for the comments, it is sometimes hard to look past our own point of view and see that of others, you have opened my eyes.

[Monster ^.^]

"If one starts at the bottom, you have to pick yourself up, do you not?" this is what I thought precisely. But, you were also right when you said I based on the poem only. I was playing safe, so based thoroughly on your words. Indeed your point is served, and your wording is as it should :)

[dawn aulis]

Thanks

[sithlordjp]

These words are beautiful. A bittersweet tale for sure, a separation so one can move forward. A renewed hope for the future, an inspiration... Lovely. Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed reading this piece.

[dawn aulis]

Thank you