Chapter One The Paper Boy

Leah, and her baby, Eddie, are befriended by Marcus, an eighth grader.

This is a story that may be written.  It is about a boy who befriends a girl and her child who are having difficulties.

 

Copyright 2010

Growing Up

 

By Stan Morris

 

Chapter One  The Paperboy

 

Leah did not look at herself in the mirror as she dried herself off.  In the first place, she was not interested in how she looked, and in the second place she already knew. I’m fat and ugly.  She hadn't lost weight since the birth of Eddie, and she had not bothered to take care of her appearance since then.  She finished drying herself and felt a little better for taking a shower.  She was showering less and less.  Any time not spent caring for Eddie seemed to be spent on the couch in front of the worn out television her parents had grudgingly given her.

She put on a pair of clean panties and a long men's t-shirt and walked through the narrow motor home to what passed as the front room.  She collapsed onto the couch and stared blankly at the TV.  Some talking head was tittering about the goings-on of a teenage movie star.  She thought for a moment how carefree she had been eighteen months ago, just before her sixteenth birthday, and how her life had crashed around her seventeen months ago when she realized she was pregnant.

She knew this situation was her fault.  She had taken the required sex education class, and she had been aware of condoms and of birth control pills.  Her family had always lectured her on the importance of abstinence.  She had made a stupid mistake; there was nothing more to be said.  When her condition was discovered, her parents had almost managed to keep their anger and disappointment to themselves and had begun searching for a practical way to move her from their home to her own abode.

Her father knew a man who was building a strip mall in a city five hundred miles away.  The man owned an empty motor home he had once used as an office; it was on a lot next to his latest project.  Leah dropped out of school and moved into the motor home.  The contractor said that she could stay there until the two year project was finished.  Her parents gave her some of their savings, and then they washed their hands of her.  She did not know what she would do after her money ran out.  She had discovered that having a baby was expensive.

Leah raised her head when she heard a knock at the door.  That had never happened in the three months that she had been living here.  Startled, she rose and went to the door.  She grabbed the ancient brass plated door knob, but then stopped and cautiously moved the faded curtain to peek out the window.  A boy was standing on the ground in front of the aluminum door step.  He had a cloth bag hanging over his shoulder and his neck.  She could see by the logo on the bag that he was a paperboy.  Leah felt a surge of interest.  It had been weeks since she had had any contact with anyone other than her baby.  She opened the door and gave the boy a tentative smile.

“Hello,” she said.

Marcus looked up and saw a girl not much older than him.  With interest, he noted that her shirt came only to mid-thigh.  He knew she lived here, because he had seen her twice, as he was riding his bike delivering newspapers.   Once, he has seen her carrying her baby in a baby backpack.  She was a brunette and now he observed that she had brown eyes that seemed sad in spite of her greeting.

“Hi, ma’am,” he said.  “Would you like to buy a subscription to the newspaper?”

Leah stared hungrily at the bag on the boy’s back.  She longed for the diversion a paper would bring from her monotonous life, and for the information it contained about the world outside of her motor home.  She had always been a curious girl, and reading magazines and newspapers had been one of her favorite things.  Sadly though, newspapers were not free.

“No, thanks,” she answered with a reluctant shake of her head.  “I don’t have the money.”  Had Leah been older, she probably would not have commented on her lack of finances, but at her age she had not yet developed a sense of monetary privacy.

“Oh. Okay.”  The boy turned away, and Leah shut the door.

Marcus ambled back to his bike and climbed aboard.  But instead of pedaling away, he turned and looked back at the door.  After a long moment, he got off his bike and walked back to the door.  Under the mail box, there were two curved metal brackets that were designed to hold a newspaper.  Marcus laid the paper on the brackets, went back to his bike, and rode off.

Leah heard the boy and realized that he had come back to the porch.  She opened the door just as the boy bicycled away.  From the corner of her eye, she saw the newspaper.  Puzzled, she looked after the boy, and then she retrieved the newspaper and shut the door.  She spent the next two hours poring over the paper.  She read every inch; the headlines, sports, entertainment, travel, and even each classified ad.  It felt good to be reading, to be using her mind.  She could never have imagined how exhilarating it would feel to read a newspaper.

Each day for a week, the boy left a newspaper on the metal brackets under her mailbox.  At first, she pretended not to hear him for fear he was making a mistake, and that if she questioned him, he would no longer leave the paper.  But she became more nervous each day.  What if he expects me to pay him? I told him I can’t afford it.  On Saturday, she decided to confront him.  She waited until she heard him step onto her porch, and then she opened the door.  He stepped back with a startled expression.

“Hi,” he said as a guilty look came into his eyes.

“I already told you I can’t pay for the paper,” Leah said firmly.

The boy grinned winningly.  “Oh, there’s no charge.  Another customer moved and forgot to cancel their paper.  So I just leave it here.”

“Really?” Leah asked, skepticism filling her voice.

“Really,” he insisted.  “I just don’t want to carry it home.”

Leah did not point out that the paper didn't weigh much.  She really wanted to keep the paper.

“How long before their subscription runs out?” she asked.

“Six months.”

“Well, all right.  As long as there’s no charge.  Thanks a lot.  It’s about the only thing I get to do all day, except for taking care of Eddie.”

 “It’s cool.  I gotta go now.  See ya.”

Leah watched as he got onto his bike and cycled off.  She realized he was being kind.  She didn't know why, but she was grateful.  It seemed a long time since someone had given her a thought, or had done her a kindness.  The next day the paper was there on schedule.  Faithfully, he delivered the free paper for another week.  Reading the newspaper seemed to pull Leah out of the stupor into which she had been falling.  She started thinking about the world outside of her small motor home, and one of the the things she thought about was her paperboy. At the end of the week, she decided he deserved a reward.

She took a small amount from the money she had left and walked ten blocks to the store carrying Eddie against her chest.  At six months old, he was getting heavy. At the store, she bought a small bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips.  When her paperboy showed up the next day, she was ready.   She opened the door and the delicious aroma of cookies wafted out   the door.  Leah smiled when she saw the boy’s eyes light up.

“Would you like a cookie?” she asked.

“Sure!” he replied.

She opened the door wider and turned around, and he followed her into the motor home.  He noticed Eddie lying on the floor by the couch.  The baby was holding a bottle and trying unsuccessfully to bring the n****e to his mouth.

"Can you keep an eye on Eddie for a minute?" Leah asked.

"Sure."

Marcus sat down on the couch as Leah moved into the tiny kitchen.  He looked around the small space.  The carpet was clean but stained.  In the tiny kitchen, a loud noise began to emanate from the short white refrigerator.  He watched the frustrated baby for a few moments, and then he reached down, grasped the bottle, and held it so Eddie could suck.  Marcus looked up and saw Leah open the oven.  The smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies made his mouth water.

"What's your name?" Leah asked as she used a spatula to move the hot cookies from the cookie sheet to a cooling rack.

"I'm Marcu...uh Mark Ambrose."

"I'm Leah Levy.  That’s Eddie."

"Yeah.  Is your husband at work?  I've never seen him around."

Leah frowned, studiously worked on the cookies for a moment and then she answered.

"I'm not married.  Eddie's father's not around."

"Oh, sorry."

Marcus clamped his mouth shut, hoping that he had not blown his chance at some cookies.  Leah glanced over at him and gave him a wan smile. 

"It's no big deal."

Marcus didn't know what to say, so he kept silent.  Leah got a small plate from the cupboard and put four cookies on it.  She opened the noisy refrigerator and took out a quart of milk.  Carefully she poured some into a glass and then put the milk away.  She carried the cookies and the glass of milk into the living room and handed them to Marcus.

"Enjoy, Mark," she said.

"Wow, thanks, Leah," the boy exclaimed as he immediately began to inhale the cookies.

Leah picked up Eddie and held his bottle for him.  Lately, she had been making him hold his own bottle for at least a little while, before relenting and helping him.

“What grade are you in, Mark?” Leah asked.

“I’m in the eighth grade,” Marcus replied.  “I’ll be in high school next year.  Where did you go to school?”

Leah looked down.  “A long way from here.  I didn't finish school,” she admitted softly.  “I got pregnant, and the school said I would have to drop out.”

“Too bad,” Marcus said, but he didn't sound sympathetic.  “Anyway, school sucks.  They say I’m smart, but school’s a bore and homework’s a chore.”

Leah looked away.  “I wish I could have graduated.  I liked school.  I was happy in school.  I love Eddie, but I wish I could have gone to college and gotten a good job afterwards. Maybe I would have a decent life now.”  She blinked away some moisture.

Marcus said nothing, feeling suddenly awkward.

He thought for a moment, and then he remarked, “I guess it must be tough to live on food stamps and welfare.”

Leah looked sad.  “I don’t have those, Mark.  I’m not even eighteen yet.  You have to be eighteen to be considered an adult and get welfare.  I just hope I have enough money to last until I am eighteen and can get on welfare and get food stamps.  I wish I could get a job.  At least the man that owns this place lets me stay here rent free.”

Marcus frowned.  He didn’t know a lot about social services, but he had always assumed that a woman with a child could get food stamps and welfare.  He didn’t know she had to be eighteen.  He thought about that for a moment.

Then he said, “Can you look for help on your computer?  Maybe if you googled something like ‘underage welfare’ or something like that.”

“Oh, sure,” Leah answered sarcastically.  “Like, I can afford a computer and the internet when I can’t even afford the newspaper.”

“Oh yeah, right,” Marcus replied, sheepishly.  He looked at his watch.  “Oh shi…I gotta get home.  My Dad’s supposed to be coming home today.  He travels a lot for his business.”

As Marcus was getting on his bike he happened to notice the portable building sitting on the lot next door to Leah.  The building served as the office for the construction company.  Marcus wondered if the office was connected to the internet and if it was, what kind of connection it had.  And Marcus wondered about Leah's belief that she could not qualify for welfare.  That did not make sense to Marcus.  It seemed to him that if anyone needed the services of the welfare office it was Leah and Eddie.

Saturday morning, Leah heard a knock at her door.  When she opened it, she saw Marcus holding a sleek black computer tower.  There was sweat dripping from his forehead.  He was panting.

"Hi," he managed to say.

"Hello, Mark.  What are you doing?" she replied.

"I thought you might like to have this computer," Marcus explained.  "It's my Dad’s.  It's old, so he was going to toss it.  I told him I knew someone that might be willing to take it off his hands."

"Oh, Mark, I can't afford something like that," Leah said exasperated at Marcus’ lack of understanding.

"It's free," Marcus protested in response.  "My Dad has a new laptop, so he needed to junk this.  If he took it to the recycle center, he would have to pay a fee to leave it there.  Come on, Leah, do me this favor.  Please, take it so that my Dad doesn't have to pay to recycle it."

Leah hesitated, and then reluctantly she nodded.

"All right," she said and Marcus grinned at her.

"I need to go back for the monitor," he said.  "And there's a bunch of other junk that comes with it."

An hour later, Marcus carried the LCD monitor into the motor home and then went back to his bike to get the bag of accessories.  While Leah baked another batch of cookies, Marcus connected the mouse, the keyboard, and the speakers to the tower.  Then he plugged in the power cord to a surge protector and pushed the ‘on’ button.  The computer began to boot, and while it did, Marcus stepped into the small kitchen, where Leah had peanut butter cookies cooling on a small wire rack.

“Do you like to play games?” he asked as he munched on a cookie; his third.

Leah laughed and said, “Only if you count Sudoku and Solitaire.”

“What kind of computer did you used to have?”

“I had an iPad, and my parents had a Mac and an HP.  I used to play games on my iPhone, but I traded that and my iPad to a friend.”

Marcus did not ask, but he was certain that Leah’s need for money was why she had given up her electronic devices.

“ I've been thinking about buying an ereader,” she remarked.  “But that didn't make sense, since I didn't have a computer.  Maybe I can download some books from the library, or else do it the old fashioned way and check out some real books.”

“Maybe there’s a hot spot around,” Marcus replied.  “Then you could get free internet.”

“Maybe,” Leah agreed, but she did not think it was very likely.

Shortly after that, Leah had to bathe Eddie, and while she did so, Marcus checked the computer to see if he could find an available wireless network connection.  He wasn't very surprised when he managed to obtained a connection to the contractor’s office next door.  Like many people, they had neglected to set up a security protocol, and they were still using ‘admin’ as their logon and ‘password’ as their password.

When Leah came back into the front room holding the bathed and powdered baby, Marcus showed her that the browser was connecting.  Leah was amazed and excited when she realized that she had the internet.

“Thank you, so much, Mark,” she said as he was leaving.

From her window, Leah watched him bicycle away.  She was happy to have the internet, but she was even happier to have found a friend, even if he was a kid.

The next day, Marcus accompanied Leah and Eddie to the library where Leah filled out an application, and Marcus used his own card to check out two books for Leah.

 

* * * * *

 

Sally Holberg was a case manager at the welfare office.  She felt tired today, and she knew she would feel tired tomorrow.  Sally was aware that she was experiencing a bad case of burnout.  The cases had gotten to be a blur.  The clients she worked with did not trust her, and she did not trust them.  Too many were too desperate.  They lied on their forms, and they lied about the conditions in which they were living.  Very few were actually extreme welfare cheats.  Most were simply so jaded by the system that they didn't care about keeping the welfare office up to date on their situations.

Sally stared suspiciously at the boy in front of her and wondered who had sent him.  He had asked to speak to a case worker, and she was the unlucky soul who was tapped to do so.  He was a young, unremarkable looking teenager with brown hair and brown eyes. Those eyes were the apprehensive eyes of someone who was uncomfortable dealing with an unfamiliar bureaucracy, but there was also a measure of determination in them.  Whatever his mission, he was not going to go away easily.

“What can I help you with?” she said brusquely.

“I have a question,” the boy answered.  “Can someone get food stamps if they’re not eighteen yet?”

This question almost made Sally smile.  She wondered what he wanted to purchase and who was going to trade whatever he wanted for food.  It was not uncommon for food to be traded for goods that were ineligible to be purchased with a food debit card.

“You don’t have to be eighteen, but you do need to have your own place. Perhaps there is an adult where you live who can apply.”

She thought this statement would send him packing, but she was wrong.  He frowned, not quite understanding what she meant.

“But that’s the problem,” he said.  “She not eighteen yet, she’s only seventeen.  And she needs help.  I’ll bet that formula stuff is expensive, and Eddie is always hungry.”

Sally’s brow furrowed.  This did not sound like the usual attempt to unlawfully gain services.

“Start at the beginning.  Who is not eighteen yet, and who is Eddie?”

Marcus began again.  With Sally prompting him, he gave a fairly coherent description of Leah’s situation.  As he spoke, Sally became more and more concerned.  If what he says is true, the girl needs help, and I need to check on the baby.

* * * * *

 

When Sally arrived at the address Marcus had given her, she saw a group of boys playing catch in the field next to where the motor home was located.  They reminded her of her grandson and she stopped to watch for a minute.  One of the boys threw a ball erratically, and it landed near her.  Another boy came over to retrieve it.

Sally asked him, “Does Leah Levy live here?”  She pointed to the motor home.

“Is that her name?” the boy asked in return.  “Yeah, she lives there.  With her boyfriend.”  The boy giggled.

Inwardly, Sally sighed.  The hardest parts of her job were determining how many people really lived in a household and discovering which ones were receiving some kind of compensation they did not report.

The sight of Sally on the stoop of the motorhome sent a frisson of alarm surging through Leah. Leah recognized by the lady’s clothing and demeanor that this was a person of authority, and like most people, she knew that an unexpected visit by a person of authority was rarely good news.  Please, let it not be about Eddie.  Apprehensively, Leah opened the door.  She was holding Eddie in her arms.

“May I help you?” she asked politely.

“Hello, I’m Sally Holberg.  I’m assuming you are Leah Levy?  I’m from Child Social Services.  May I come in?”

“Um, okay.”  Leah opened the door wider and stood back, trembling as she realized her worst fear was happening.

Please don’t take Eddie away from me.  No matter, how much she wished events had happened differently, Eddie was the joy in her life.

Sally entered and took a quick look around.  From what the boy with the baseball had told her, she was already suspicious, and the sight of the expensive computer did not quell those suspicions.  She turned to Leah who was pressing the baby against her body.

“I received a report that you and your child may be in some difficulty.  It’s my job, on behalf of the state to investigate this report.”

“Eddie and I are doing just fine,” Leah answered defensively giving Eddie a small bounce.  “I make sure he’s got plenty of formula, and I always check to see if he’s messed in his diapers, and if he has, I change him, and I clean him, and I always use medicated powder on his bottom.  And I got some baby books from the library.  See?”  She pointed to the rickety coffee table she had purchased from the Salvation Army store.

“Yes, I see those books, and they’re some good ones.  And your baby appears to be very healthy.  The state is glad to see that you and your baby are doing fine.  My, that’s an expensive computer.”

This last statement was said as Sally pointed to the tower sitting under a desk make of planks and cinder blocks.  As Sally waited for Leah’s response, she heard the sound of a toilet flushing.

So she does have a man living here.

Leah was staring at Sally as if she was trying to determine whether or not the woman was teasing her.  Then she spoke loudly.

“Marcus Jason Ambrose, get out here, now.”

Seconds later, the boy who had contacted Sally, appeared in the tiny hallway, still zipping his fly.

“You told me this was an old computer your Dad was going to throw away,” Leah said, indignation emanating from her voice and body language.

“Uh,” Marcus thought hard, trying to find some justification for his lie.

Sally caught on immediately, and realized she had inadvertently given away the boy’s secret.

“Oh, pardon me, Leah,” she interjected hastily.  “I see this is actually an old Windows Eight computer.  Oops.  I’m not that computer literate, I’m afraid.  Old age, I guess.  I can even remember when Windows Ninety-Five was released.”

Leah’s suspicious gaze swung back and forth between the social services woman and the boy.  To her surprise, Sally found herself squirming.  Usually it was the other way around.  Finally, Leah’s gaze fixed on Sally.

“Are you sure?” she asked in a tone of voice that would have made Sally’s first grade teacher proud.

“Uh, quite,” the old woman answered, and then she asked, “May I hold Eddie for a moment?”

Sally had learned long ago that the best way to distract someone was to take an interest in their children.

“Well, alright,” Leah answered.  She handed the baby to Sally.

“Oh, aren't you a pretty baby,” Sally said with genuine affection as she bounced Eddie lightly, in the same way she had seen Leah do.  “Leah, why haven’t you applied for social services?”

“I’m not eighteen yet,” Leah explained.  “It’s still six months before my birthday.”

“That doesn't matter,” Sally replied.  “As long as you are the head of this household, you quality for social services, including a food debit card you can use at the supermarket.  Does anyone live here beside you and Eddie?  Do you have a boyfriend living here?”

“No, it’s just me and Eddie.  Mark hangs around a lot, though.  Does he count?”

“Not if he doesn't live here,” Sally responded glancing at the boy who trying hard to become invisible.

Leah glanced at Marcus and smiled.  “He’s just a good friend.”

“I have some paperwork in my car that needs to be filled out,” Sally said.  “Mark, it’s under a box.  Can you help me move it?”

“Sure,” Marcus said, and he followed Sally out to her car, while Leah waited at the door with Eddie.

As they approached the car, one of the boys playing catch yelled, “Hey, Mark, how’s your girlfriend?”  The other boys broke into laughter.

“Just ignore those goofballs,” Marcus said, his face reddening.

“I will.  It was nice of you to help Leah.”

“I just thought she might have been wrong about being too young.  That didn’t seem right to me.”

“I’m certain she’ll quality for aid.  It was nice of you to give her that computer.”

“It’s not that great,” Marcus muttered.  “If I want to use it, I can come over here.  Leah doesn't mind.  My dad said he would buy me a tablet for my birthday.”

“No, I imagine she doesn't mind your being here at all.”

Marcus moved the heavy box of case files, Sally retrieved the proper forms, and they went back to the motor home.  Sally helped Leah fill out the forms, and then she was ready to leave.  And yet for the first time in a long time, Sally was reluctant to leave a client’s home.  There was something about the easy way the boy and the young mother exchanged words that had Sally lingering.  Leah might be in a difficult situation, but she’s doing her best to make this a comfortable home.  Sally watched the baby lying next to the boy, trying to raise its head and get the boy’s attention.  The boy noticed Eddie’s attempts, and he pulled the child onto his lap and started saying silly incoherent words to the baby, causing the child to laugh.

Reluctantly, Sally rose from the old couch and said her good-byes.  She gathered the forms, and told Leah that she would email the young mother a confirmation stating that Leah was eligible for aid and that the food debit card would be mailed shortly.  Leah and Marcus waved as Sally drove away, and then Leah turned to Marcus.

“Mark, she scared the life out of me, showing up like that.  What the heck were you thinking, talking to her without my permission?”

“I’m sorry, Leah.  I was only trying to help.”

“I know that, but you can’t do stuff like that behind my back.  What if she was some mean old lady, ready to take Eddie away from me?  Next time, tell me first.”

“I will.  Sorry.”

“Okay.  Do you want lunch?  I guess I can feed you now that Eddie and me are going to get in that program.”

“Leah?”

“Yes.”

“How did you know my real name?”

“It was on your library card.”

“Oh.”

“You like to be called, ‘Mark’?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

After Marcus left and Eddie feel asleep, Leah thought about the boy.  These days, he was spending a lot of time at her home, and she wondered why.  She really did not know that much about him.  He had been somewhat evasive about his parents, except to say that they were often away from the city on business.  She wondered who his friends were.  She had noticed the boys, who played catch in the lot next to her motor home, teasing him from time to time.  Maybe he didn't have many close friends.  Was that why he spent so much time with her and Eddie?  Eddie certainly liked Mark.  And it was nice of Mark to keep an eye on her baby when she needed to do personal things.  She was taking a lot better care of herself lately, and a lot of that was because Mark was around to watch Eddie.

Leah was still nervous about the social worker’s visit, but the woman had seemed nice enough.  She had talked about classes for new mothers and had not criticized Leah’s skills.  If she really helps me get a food debit card... Life would not be so scary.  Maybe I could even think about getting a job.  In Leah's mind, that was the real goal.  A job, any kind of job would mean a level of security that Leah had not felt since the first moment she had realized she was going to be a mother.  She mentioned that to Marcus the following day as he sat on the sofa watching the television.

“What kind of job?” Marcus asked.

“Anything that pays money, I guess.  I mean, I don’t want to work in a bar taking off my clothes or anything like that.  Not that anyone would pay to see me take off my clothes.”

“I bet lots of guys would,” Marcus replied.  “Not that you should do that,” he added hastily when Leah frowned at him.

“I need a job where they have daycare, so I have a safe place for Eddie.”

Marcus thought about what Leah said, and he decided to ask the social worker what she thought.  Sally was surprised to see him at her office again.

“Is everything alright with Leah and Eddie?” she asked.

“Yeah.  Thanks for helping her.  Do you know where she can get a job?”

“That might be difficult, Mark. She doesn't have her high school diploma or her GED and not many people will hire her without one or the other.”

“What’s a GED?”

“That stands for General Education Diploma in this state.  It’s a degree you can get when you pass five sets of tests in different areas.”

“How do you get one?”

“To be honest, I’m not sure.  Why don’t you check with the high school?  They would know.”

 

Reviews

[Trigorin]

You're obviously a very skilled writer who knows his stuff, so I'll cut right to the chase: Technically correct. The story, however, while definitely something you can expand on and play around with, has definitely been done before, and reads, to be honest, a bit like a young adult novel by that terribly boring John Green. You know how to write, and you know what to write: this story, if you finished it, would definitely sell. Would it still be popular in twenty years? Probably not. If I were you, I'd think very hard about the message you want to get across with this piece - as it stands, I don't think there's capacity for any real message at all unless you were to do something unexpected and fresh, which would, of course, raise the stakes and bring the merit of this piece up a lot.
Don't get me wrong, it's good writing, I just question your choice of setting and content. It's very easy to get bogged down in the details of these realistic settings, and I feel like you might be focusing too much on that instead of the bits that really matter. It's still a very impressive start, and you can definitely build off this. Good work.

[Stan]

Thanks a lot Trigorin. You've made some very valid points. In my mind, I think the general gist of this story is about choices. The climatic point would come when Leah dumps Marcus when she learns that he is planning not to attend the posh college that he was accepted to, but instead decides to attend the local community college, so he can be available for Leah and Eddie. Leah is horrified that he would do this, and she doesn't want to be responsible for Marcus not becoming all that he can be. What she doesn't understand is that Marcus had never known the closeness of a loving family until he met Leah and Eddie, and that is more important to him than status or wealth. Toward the end of the story, she learns that Marcus is still in town attending the community college. She has to accept that this is Marcus' choice, not hers. Her choice is either to accept or reject Marcus.

[Trigorin]

I was sure you'd thought it out more than you'd actually written, but I did want to bring up the point about the meaning, because there seem to be so many writers that don't bother with it. You've obviously got this in good hands - let it take you where it may.