Skeleton Key

Skeleton Key

By: Nick Workman

 

Oopsy,

I made a poopsy!

I missed and hit the toilet seat!

F*****g clean it up for me!

I can’t see…

I’m too fucked up,

I just threw up,

I can’t stand up,

And this b***h won’t shut up.

What the f**k?!

This really sucks…

How many did I swallow?

And how much alcohol followed?

I’m taking off like Apollo

Thirteen.

After I puke green,

I get mean…

Have you seen

My knife so clean?

I mean,

It’s normally bloody

From being so s****y.

It’s my little buddy.

So I gotta take care of it…

I gotta take care of s**t,

But I’m broke and drunk, so I’ll bear with it

By taking just one more hit…

Or maybe three or seven;

F**k it. Send me to heaven.

Or just floor eleven;

Whichever is less hassle.

I’m trying to be less of an a*****e,

But I’m about to flip out

Cuz I’m lost in this damn castle!

Why can’t I find my room,

So I can lie down and meet my doom?

Like the Challenger: Kaboom!

I’m sure it will come soon…

But I’m bummed cuz I’m trippin’

And I can’t find the kitchen

To just microwave some chicken

Real quick and…

F**k! My whole body’s itchin’!

Dude… I’m about to fall.

I think I’ll just curl up in a ball

And die…

That’s all.

Goodbye.