My human clone (Poem)

Thunderful...

Those thunder-like cries

Coming straight from my eyes

Trying to consume me

My heart, already broken;

leaving my heartbeats to be unspoken

And never heard from again

Darkness approaching my soul

Starting to drill a hole

Changing everything 

Everything around me fading away

Turning into a shade of a grey

Within seconds

My reflection unable to be shown

Instead, showing photocopies of my human clone

As my organisms clash together

The sky shattering apart to the furthest

Its clouds falling onto the surface

Landing straight at me

Reviews

[Cult Reject]

great little poem, certainly a connection with the words and very clear imagery :)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you! :)

[Bre]

This is such an emotional poem and I love it.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Bre :))

[Island Hippy]

Aloha, this is full of emotion and feels almost frantic in part. A palpable mood creeping through each line. Very well done. Izzy

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Izzy! :)

[emipoemi]

This is well written in the way it paints the imagery and flows in its musicality (Stanza 5 Line 2 is a tad wordy, though). I also like how only the first two lines of every stanza rhyme, and then the stanzas end in a straggler (what I call ending lines that don't have any rhymes). However, ending the poem with a straggler doesn't sound good in certain occasions. And this occasion, if I may, is one of them. Somehow, the bang advisable in an ending is not met. Well done otherwise!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Emi for the review and feedback! I really appreciate it!! :)
I kinda agree, it was sorta rushed tbh lol

[emipoemi]

it was my pleasure.

[Sam]

The first line caught my eye and drew me into the poem. it was well written, but perhaps not my genre. Keep writing!!!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much!

[Stacy Purvis]

You are a Precious Soul...Your Soul is a Bright Light for all to see!

[Mr.Writer]

Umm, thank you? lol

[Stacy Purvis]

Ummm, you're welcome? heh

[Kesha]

This was a great piece, i liked the rhyme scheme you had going on!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Kesha! :)

[Ethan]

Great job I really like it :)

[Mr.Writer]

Thanks so much! :)

[Farhan Shaikh]

I can feel it, expressed it really well

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Farhan! :)

[Zephyr]

Another great poem Shaan.
Thanks for sharing this.:)

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Neetha!
No problem :)