The soul's words

A dream

The clock ticks noisily it's a quarter after two.
It's pitch black and the wind is blazing through.
You walk around aimlessly  listening to the creaks.
Nobody says a word only your soul speaks.

Forget all this anger forget all this pain.
Stop feeling guilty it's making you insane.
Forget all that's happened forget all the fights.
Because soon enough you will see the lights.

Your heart beats wildly as you continue to pace.
Your thoughts all over, your mind begins to race.
Your not insane but you know it's all true.
You can't take much more there's already so much you've been through.

 Forget all this anger forget all this pain.
Stop feeling guilty it's making you insane.
Forget all that's happened forget all the fights.
Because soon enough you will see the lights.

Your standing by a window it's your only way out.
Your shaking uncontrollably as your soul continues to shout.
You finally jump because you couldn't stay.
As you fall you close your eyes and your soul continues to say

Forget all this anger forget all this pain.
Stop feeling guilty it's making you insane.
For get all that's happened forget all these fights.
Because now you will finally see the lights.

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

The repetitive nature makes it feel like a song, and frankly, I kind of wish it was, because standing alone as a poem, you need serious rhythm work. It amazes me how often I have to tell people this, but in order for a poem to flow, your rhyme has to match your rhythm. Two lines don't necessarily work just because they rhyme. Take this for example:

"Your not insane but you know it's all true.
You can't take much more there's already so much you've been through."

The second one is nearly twice the length of the first. Rhyming lines should be, in most cases, of similar length. By the time the second line is over here, the opportunity has long passed.

It's a nice little dark tale, but watch for that familiar trap.

[DeathByChoice]

I liked it. I liked the way it fit together in the end, the soul promising peace and not just repition of lines that match, but meaning with them. If that makes sense. But I did think the "chorus" of this song-like poem was a little more simple than the rest of it. The individual stanzas were very strong and powerful, but then every other section was a little cliche/emo and doesn't stand up tall like the rest of the lines do.
Other than that; really liked it a lot!

[Senseless whatever]

Feels like a song to me. Very nice write.

[Sabbath_Nikole]

Repititve but i like it. The last line was a good punch. Keep up the good writing.

[ChristianM]

Very eerie poem but I liked it.
A sad portrayal, when I say sad I mean good, of someone ending it all.
As stated before it does sound like a song, a very scary one. lol
Nicely done.

[LynLee]

wow this was amazing

[ashley]

Wow. This is amazing. The ending made me tear up. Great job!