Once In A Lifetime

This is a Suicide Prevention Awareness piece that I wrote November 2nd, 2012 after someone dear to me took her own life. She would have been 26 on Nov 16th.

Once In A Lifetime

Written By Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

Copyright © 2012 Marvin Thomas Cox

DBA: Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

All Rights Reserved

I stood there in darkness all alone,

in the crisp of night at cliffs edge,

hovering within hesitant decision,

shoe tips jutting just beyond sanity,

small pebbled stones of the grave,

tumbling into the deepest darkness,

clattered sweetly within hollow echoes,

into the chasm's waiting abyss below.

As a greedily ravenous mouth agape,

it lay ever so hungrily before me,

calmly, quietly, softly, confidently,

invitingly calling me to my death.

Looking back I now pause in wonder ...

Did I miss a once in a lifetime offer?

Will such courage ever come again,

when I am asked to answer the call?

(Written November 2^nd, 2012)

Author's Note of Disclaimer:

Suicide Is An Irreversible Mistake

“The poetry shared above represents an emotion filled attempt at painting, to canvass of page, a true-to-tragic-events-of-life mental & emotional visualization of the consequences of opting out of this life via that deceptive mechanism called suicide. Suicide is not a cardinal sin as taught by the mythological fairy-tale fabrications of men, known as Organized Religion. Suicide is nothing more than a mistake; a life ending irreversible decision; an act that can never be undone; a departure upon a journey that leads to nonexistence, from whence there is no return ...

Suicide, and its impact upon others, is realistically (though metaphorically) equivalent to a 9.4 magnitude earthquake that begins by destroying one person's life at its epicenter, to, then, generate a consequences-to-foolish-acts-emotional-tsunami that speedily ravages the hearts & lives of all those who loved you, as they are swept away within a mental stormy sea of guilt, regret, and relentlessly unceasing thoughts of anguish as to what they could have done to save you, what they should have done to save you and failed to do to save you -- feeling a never ending responsibility, without a moment's reprieve, for an act you chose to commit in leaving those who loved you with lives that will never be the same, ever, again, as they pay in tear stained remorse, of guilt they do not deserve, for your mistake -- a decision you made that they will pay as debt of regret for the entirety of the rest of their lives, because they still love you, and will always love you …

Suicide is not a video game. There is no reset button, or prize you can attain, as a good player, that awards you with more lives, or a second chance … Suicide plays for keeps!

If you suffer from suicidal thoughts and imaginary scenarios of killing yourself and ending it all, please do call for help, NOW, before it is too late, as that next round of playing with thoughts of offing yourself in your mind might just be that time when your private little fantasy, of release from the problems and torments of this life, becomes an all too surreal reality that can never reversed or undone, in suddenly and calmly materializing as that life ending act known as suicide ... Don't wait! … Get help now! … Before it is too late …

As for me? I do not believe in Heaven or Hell, or any form of Eternal Afterlife. I believe this one life is all that we have to live. Therefore, I will never piss off the shot at living that I have. I do hope that you will choose to do the same: LIVE! Your life matters! Thank you for reading …”

  --Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham