How Can Nearly Dying Not Nearly Be Enough?

Again. How?

My heads screwed on,
Maybe not just right
And I'm wound up
Maybe just a little to tight
I'm just a little anxious
And just a little scared
Thats because I danced on the edge
Where no one has dared
Slicing across
A gash so wide
Blood spilled out
I saw broken muscle inside
Hyperventilate.
Air gone and options dry
No time to think
Of a believable lie
The air grew cold
I saw ambulance lights sing and dance
I closed my eyes to avoid they're glance
Needle in my arm
Stitches closing me up from a to close call
Sewing me together
Like a broken doll
And then I was scared,
And then I was alone,
And in that split second
No place felt like home
Alone in my bed
Alone with the sheets
That unquenchable desire
Suddenly creeps
Maybe I'm just not right
Maybe it's just to tough
But how can nearly dying
Not nearly be enough?