RENDEZVOUS WITH MY MIND

Encourages one to move on with life and accept things as they come.

Sitting by the lake, with sunlight shimmering in the deep blue waters trying to fathom a sense of comfort, respite from its blazing nature and smiling with jollity at its reflection, life was finally at peace, at least for that particular moment. A transcendent persona of the coolness of the sea intrigued a couple of withered thoughts whirling in the conforms of my mind. It’s said that the human mind processes sixty thousand thoughts on an average in 24 hours, so probably these were a couple of mine aroused with a mixture of soliloquies and jostling notions.

Reflecting on the past, present and future, I was reminiscing moments that helped me contrive a state of mind which I possess at present, a little conflicting yet beautiful in its own creation. Midst these thoughts, a raindrop manage to break through my reverie. How beautifully it settled on my palm, just like a baby seeking comfort in its mother’s arms, away from the world which tries to encroach upon its fragile innocence. In return, I closed my hand to secure that insecure raindrop so that it doesn’t scatter away and realize how broken it actually is, long after it’s too late, for after that there is no coming back. 

Life had been a roller coaster ride for me with a pocket full of sunshine and a bucket full of thorns. It’s still very much the same and yet very different. I remember that Saturday morning when I attended a house party for I needed a destination to go to. Suspended between the nastiness of life and meanness of the dead, I finally needed to breathe but I never acknowledged that this temporary happiness was not that happy from a rare view mirror. Somewhere, sometime in your life you end up meeting people who are so deceptive in each and every way, like a living lie but with a wave of credence, as if they know you more than you could ever know your own self, a stigma of reality with a pinch of salt. Someone who gives you an “ I can see through you” feeling, which can sweep you off the ground and makes you jump off a cliff. Something like your shadow taking up a perfect human form, yet under the cloak of your imitated shadow lies the true colors of the living nightmare which whirled in the form of contemptuous thoughts in the conforms of your mind, something which you can’t stop, a reverie which would be as constant as running water.

F.Scott Fitzgerald, in his story “The Crack-Up” refers to the blows that one experiences in their lifetime. There are blows which wreck your life, whose reactions and consequences are instant. These are the events upon which you blame each and every sorrow and talk about it to your friends when you feel sad. The second category of blows is when it comes to you instantly, long after nothing can be done and no matter what, you can not become the same individual like you used to be. It’s interesting to note how the protagonist tried to equate contradictory thoughts, such as- the dead hand of your past weaving dreams for the future and a sense of futility of effort setting equations with the necessity to struggle, forming a romantic catharsis of contemplating notions and still retaining the ability to execute the daily actions.

I at times, could relate myself to the protagonist and so my lecturer had a tough time answering my questions, had to be, since I could relate to each and every word. There are different reasons as to why I could relate myself to the protagonist of the plot. Everything seemed to be a task, people were becoming difficult to deal with, the concept of day and night became a more literary one, that every day is a pretense to cloak the hush of darkness and while I was juggling my emotions and struggling to make sense of my inner soliloquies, my nephew came in crawling and bumped his head into a wall. He cried and screamed until I picked him up and took him into the balcony, showed him stars, cars, dogs and the airplane. He was smiling and giggling once again. This rendered a very important lesson of life to me- life is what we see it as. At times we just need a distraction to rationalize our thoughts and breathe!  

Author's Note

Would like to know new minds. Please leave a review. :)

Reviews

[JulianaSun]

Wow...breathtaking. Truly wonderful. What could I possibly say about this peice of writing. I am at a loss :) The style used, the flowing of the sentences, mild and delicate; the lessons between the lines...Congratulation, it was amazing. I loved it.

I did pick up a few spelling mistakes, though.

rare view mirror----rear view mirror

can sweep you off the ground and makes you jump ---make you jump

could relate myself to the protagonist ----could relate to the protagonist

why I could relate myself to the protagonist ---- could relate to the protagonist

Well, that´s all I noticed. Once again, congratulations for the wonderful write. It was sublime :)))

J

[Naina Grover]

Thank you so much Juliana for giving the piece a critical read. Deeply revered :)