The Road Birds and I

Our love was like a ride on the carousel...

Our love story, was like a ride on the carousel

The ones in the parks where they used to sell caramel

Oh what tunes the road birds would sing for us,

As they settled down with ten minutes till dusk

I remember on board you always fought for the horse

You liked it because it was original of course

I will never forget those carnival days

And the way you set my heart ablaze

 

Your favorite part was the bright cotton candy

They sold the pink sugar under our oak tree

Oh how it stuck to your lips so pretty pink

Hearing you laugh tied my heart in a kink

But the park feels very different now

The bird’s songs feel so sorrow

They cut down our favorite oak tree

But don’t worry Kellie all the road birds got free

Sometimes I come here just to remember

How much fun we had last September

Don’t worry I always bring you in my pocket

You and baby in my hand held locket

Oh how I wish I could hold your hand once more

I’d take you to our carousel, like I did before

Buy you a sweet stick of cotton candy

We’d just have to find ourselves another tree

If you were here by my side today

You would assure me that it’ll all be okay

In due time my Kellie the road birds and I will be alright

But for now on this park bench all I will see, is black and white

Author's Note

Only pain comes from writing at 2 in the morning... (Also It bothers me that some people will read caramel as Car-mel instead of Care-a-mel)

Reviews

[Cerebriation]

Even though this is an immensely painful piece, it is a fun uplifting read. The story has constant cartoonish undertones, maybe to mask the glaringly obvious emotion. This work tells a complete story, and the meter and flow are close to perfect. Awesomely penned, my friend!

[T. Edana Talbott]

This was very sad.The transition from joyful romance into sorrowful longing...this was wonderfully written.

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you :)

[GalaxyGhost]

Goodness, the sudden change in the poem is very sad and I think that's what I really like about it. This poem makes you feel so sad and ready for the changes that has gone by. It's like remembering the good old days and how time has changed everything.

[Addict With a Pen]

I'm glad you like it, Galaxy.

[AliciaB]

I agree with you on the writing at two in the morning thing - our brains go to some weird places at night. That being said, even though this poem is full of pain, it's very beautiful. It tells a story in a unique and detailed way, revealing another facet of the experience with each stanza. The most touching lines for me were "But don't worry Kelly all the road birds got free" and "You and baby in my hand held locket." They're very personal and encompass well the theme of fond memories mixed with sorrow that is prevalent throughout this poem. Very nicely written.

[Addict With a Pen]

I'm glad you see the beauty hidden within the pain. Thank you for always reviewing Alicia, I appreciate it!

[Quinn W]

I love how you're able to tell a story in a poem. I feel like many people try to but they don't succeed with so few words. The last few lines were amazing and truly powerful! I felt so much emotion while reading this! I really loved it!

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you Quinn, I'm glad.

[Nisreen]

I guess this is why we have a brain and a heart .... So one can reason love
Otherwise it would be just pain all the way
I enjoy your work very much

[Addict With a Pen]

Thank you, Curiosity.