my monster

the monster comes around when least expected

i thought he was gone for good last time

last time when he tormented me

when he ripped out my heart and left me to bleed

my blood spilled out of my body with who i once was and will never be again

and just as i am healing, he jumps on my back 

and whispers in my ear

the monster whispers what only i can hear

he knows my weakness and how to make me cry

“i know that you’ll let me in again”

just as i did so many times before

because he knows, what only few know

my weakness is him and his subtle, sly smile

the smile that hypnotizes me to let him back in my life

because my weakness is him.

i love this awful, terrible, deceiving, beautiful monster

because he is mine

he is my monster who i hate... because i can’t seem to stop loving