The prisoners life “a tragic event”

The prisoners life “a tragic event”

 

I was born to fight,

I was born to struggle

    Save my soul tonight...

 

I was left unaided

By the man, dandified

As far as I remember,

Save my soul tonight…..

 

I was left alone in the streets

In the hands of old road Romeo called “the freak”

Romeo made me what I am

Not a seducer or a lover

But a sinner…..

Save my soul tonight ….

 

I stole, I theft, I made a living

This is what I did

So I hid

From the cops

             Save my soul tonight…..

 

 

 

 

I also wanted the pleasure

I also want my leisure

But not at the cost of this

Being called “devilish”

I was rakish

I was selfish

     Save my soul tonight…….

I am behind the bars, IN despair

I wish if I could repair

All my faults that made a great hole

          Save my soul tonight…

Tomorrow I am going to be hanged

I wish if I could be pardoned

Is this all my error?

That I am in a terror

I curse my life

Because of which I held the knife

I am trapped in a  hole

    “SAVE MY SOUL TONIGHT…………………………..”

 Save my soul tonight

 

 

Reviews

[Sophy Freebirds]

You have the ability to write a tale along with poetry. This is very rare .hope you nurture it more and more. The theme here is gut wrenching. Torturous hours of the prisoners only increase his identity..given your age you have done remarkably well..god bless you :)

~Sophy

[K Scott Smith]

This is amazingly touching. I felt every colour, the range of emotion is incredible and the messages profound!

[John Anderson]

I really enjoyed this piece. Well done

[Christopher Robin]

Hey Naysan,

I'm not going to go through every single piece with you to correct it beforehand but this definitely needs some work. Some of your verb tenses are muddled and some lines don't seem to belong at all. Overall it's a captivating piece and quite refreshing but it's being held back by that language barrier! You're making the rhymes work, but you're losing the sense and pacing of the piece in order to do so.

Practice and proof read and this can surely become something amazing, also feels more like lyrics than poetry....

-Robin

[MomzillaNC]

Very darkly engaging prose.