Kristina had just returned from her business trip. She was tired and sleepy but first she wanted to see her baby. Swetlana was only seven months old, fast asleep beside her father. Kristina went and lied beside her and the moment she did, Swetlana opened her eyes as if looking at her mother. She closed her eyes thinking it was a dream and a few moments later she opened them again, this time as if confirming that it's not. Kristina lied beside her, seeing the reaction of her baby and knew that her baby also knew she was back, as the sweetest smile now adorned Swetlana's face.
Quick, momentous take on a very cherishing moment. I must say I was expecting a time laps; she wakes up and sees that her baby is now all grown up. I'm glad you kept to the intimate moment expressed here, I believe it works very finely that way. Well done.
This is very sweet. In this instance, you want to use lay versus lied. It is common to confuse when to use lay and lied
Maybe this will help -- pilfered off the internet grammar girl -- an example of when to use which word.
“She lied when she said she lay down and laid the book beside her"
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you KLGoode, that's a silly mistake which I always do. I will edit it asap and the example can.. read moreThank you KLGoode, that's a silly mistake which I always do. I will edit it asap and the example can really come in handy thanks :)
10 Years Ago
I always make silly mistakes like that too when i write, and can you please look at my stuff, if you.. read moreI always make silly mistakes like that too when i write, and can you please look at my stuff, if you search Gagendor, Hafen, and Gradok you should get it... Thank you!
Very beautiful! Not what I expected when I saw the title, but this is an incredibly beautiful story that captures the beauty of something so small in life. Well done sir!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you Miles :). You have always been very encouraging :)
I am a lazy writer, a day dreamer with lots of ideas which take me to a different land often. I often just jot down ideas which I never really work upon.
An avid fan of horror, I am one who you ca.. more..