Philophobia

When you tell me you love me 
a spider crawls around inside of me 
A brick hits me in my chest 
I inhale doubt, and 
my mind begins to swim in questions 

You make me angry when you say you love me 
Over time, I have built a wall 
I look up and it's sky high 
Goes on for miles and miles 
It's nearly impenetrable, 
just nearly 

When you tell me you love me 
I want to scream 
You threaten my sense of safety 
I don't feel human 
I feel as though I am a possession, 
just a thing 

When you say those words, 
I don't believe you 
because you don't know me 
You haven't truly met me 
You haven't discovered my lonely Fridays 
and my real laugh, 
or my innermost secrets 
or the depths of who I am 

When you emit these words, 
I seem unphased and, 
a coy smile on my face 
but on the inside, 
I am shaking, anxious, scared 
I want to run away and hide 

When you say you love me 
How can you mean it? 
How can you love 
what you don't really know? 

The scorned child wants to cry 
and hide 
for from the male set, 
these words she has heard 
but never really felt 

The wise, growing woman, however 
knows that you are still a child 
and you don't mean what you say 
Your words are poor and of little value 
but I'm okay, 
I can rest my head when you say you love me

Reviews

[Mark]

This is the first of your work I have read, Haley, and may I assure you, it will not be the last! (I tuned in because I have a granddaughter named HAILEY Smith!)
Love is the word we are ALL afraid to hear, though we all say we want it said. But, particularly if you've once been burned, it can be a decided turn-off. Better a person hang with you and show their love, than endlessly bombard you with pointless and vacuuous syllables. You have captured that fear beautifully, the fear that this WON'T be The One. But we cannot allow our fear to cause us to stop SEEKING The One--eventually he/she will appear!

[-K]

I really like this. It reminds me of my girlfriend. Im going to give you a 100 rating-F.Y.I. I never give that to anyone because I think a work of art can always be improved. This is one of my favorites. Very good work, keep it up.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem is pretty straight forward, but the words are powerful.
You expressed every feeling in minute detail. This is quite the
achievement. I loved it. There is conviction and wisdom in your
words.