Tired Eyes

I dismiss it as a lack of sleep,

Buts its so hauntingly more deep.

A little shut eye just subsides my shame.

But a lack of devotion ,

And life’s unfriendly motions,

Make every nights’ journey the same.

 

I’m pining for pleasure,

But unyielding weather,

Keeps blowing my chances away.

With good chance that I’m lonely,

Its my bed that will hold me,

And keep me away from the day.

 

What might have been,

Just wont let me win.

I’ve been laying here for more than a week.

But its here that ill stay,

Sleeping my tired eyes away,

Until my outlook stops looking so bleak.

 

Now I’m cold from lack of being dressed,

And my back hurts from this old mattress,

So ill hurl myself onto the floor.

And walk outside into the world,

To have a smoke and to explore,

All the things that I’ve thought

But will dwell on no more.

Author's Note

im not really sure what i think of this one yet but your opinion would be nice.

Reviews

[Liza]

you're full of wonder
i enjoyed these lines

To have a smoke and to explore,
All the things that I’ve thought
But will dwell on no more.

[the in between]

Well done.. thats what i think.. hmmm this is uplifting because the character chooses to not dwell on whatever it is that is making he/she feel bad. They move on to expore it :) i like it

[Bard Constantine]

I think it's just the feeling of being lost to oneself, of seeking an escape from an emotion or problem by staying still and hoping it passes you by. Something experienced by most, if not all of us at one time or another. Great writing.

[Ruth]

Wonderfully moving poem!
A haunting reflective piece that lures the reader into another level of consciousness!
Excellent
xx

[heich]

great write..

[Ashesh]

Excellent Poem..
Opinions of others never matter.. it's true with emotions and that my friend is enough for great poem. thanks for sharing..

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we need to do nothing and try to think. I need a week myself. I like the beginning and the story in your words. A excellent ending. Best to leave the B.S behind and move on to something better. A very good poem.
Coyote

[Randolf Ramos]

We are so preoccupied with pleasure that opportunities passed unnoticed.
This is true in this poem.
Stunningly great piece of art here.

[Radioactive]

I'm gonna agree with everyone else and say that the second stanza is also my favourite, it just as such a fast, free-flowing pace that seems so natural. The whole thing is just truly wonderful.

XX Maddie

[DamienHino]

wonderful, wonderful i really enjoyed it...you explain your perscpective very well