Questioning

A Poem by 4ri3ll

What if you and I
Are just part of this never ending
Thought process
Or nightmare
Of someone else.
What if we're all a nightmare?
Which would explain why we all have our own story
Our own things
That build us up
That break us down
That make us a different person we were
Then the day before.
And
What if we could read those stories
To ourselves
Out loud
In a sectioned room
So we could fully experience
What the hell went on
In my mind last night
At 2:30 am
When pulling the trigger to the gun
Or letting that razor pull across my skin
Was the only way
To be happy
Again.
We all try to scream
Out to be heard.
The only problem is
How I could possibly save you
When I couldn't even save
Myself
From that black hole below.
And burning all I've ever loved
To ashes.
Then pick them up
And smooth them with my cheek
How soft
How smooth
How indescribably
Mean and selfish I was
To let it burn
But how unselfish
And heroic I was
To burn
The perpetrator.
Me.