For my Grand Mother

At times it feels like a dream
At times it feels real
At times it feels unfamiliar
But the pain of losing you remains known in my soul

I remember when I got that call telling me you are no more
That phone call which knocked me down to knees
That phone call which took a bit of breath
That phone call which teared my heart into pieces
That phone call which left me in cold in the floor in a pool of tears
I felt my whole world crumble, I felt it shatter
I felt it collapse and a part of me died with you that day

I then wished I had told you more how much I love you
I wished I had called more
I wished I had visited more
I wished I had been there just one last time to see you before you left
To hold your hand and
To kiss your cheeks
To let you know I was there but you left without saying a word
No 'goodbye'
No 'I love you'
No 'stay well'
No 'I'll miss you'
No 'I'll pray for you'
No 'take care of your mother'
No 'don't cry so much when I'm gone'
No 'nothing'

You left and you took my heart with you
I long for our late night chats before we sleep
I long for your advice
I long for your prayers and most importantly I long for your warm embraces because in your arms Grand Ma that's the safest I had felt now I keep you close to me in my heart where I can talk to you always and in my dreams that's where we meet
Until we see each other again
I love you