Towards You.

Towards You.

A Poem by mae23

I felt a pull,

A pull towards you.

So strong and magnetic.

I know you felt it too.  


My palms were sweating

And my face was warm.

You had taken my heart

By thundering storm.


Drawing nearer,

Your darting eyes met mine.

With cautious ease

You let our fingers intertwine.


I dared to come closer

To feel the touch of your skin.

Sparks ran through my body

I felt them deep within.


What could have happened?

Neither of us can know.

For the moment was fleeting

We were forced to let it go.


My nerves were tingling

And still are today.

Because of the “almost”

I should have never let fly away.

© 2017 mae23


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Reviews

Beautiful! The warmth and nerves of first love are so well captured here. The final verse is especially impactful and very well worded.

Posted 6 Years Ago


mae23

6 Years Ago

Thank you for this review
Oh my gosh! To be able to remember the "lost moment". To remember it and yet wish that it can be found again. To then be able to hold on to it.
Very nicely written.

Take care - Dave

Posted 6 Years Ago


This is perfectly crafted rhyme & rhythm which conveys the purely physical pull that we sometimes feel with another person. Excellent way to let us feel that pull. I'm a bit surprised when the ending turns out to be unrequited love, & this sets me to thinking about the whole "pull" idea differently. Vivid & recognizable sensations conveyed here (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


I agree with your words and thoughts.
"My nerves were tingling
And still are today.
Because of the “almost”
I should have never let fly away. "
What we didn't do. Haunt us more than what we did. Thank you Mae for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


mae23

6 Years Ago

Thank you for this incredible review!
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

Was my pleasure dear Mae and you are welcome.
Nice... Kind of mysterious, kind of emotional, it's a mix of these two.. and I really liked it, the way you wrote it is really good and I love the last stanza, that 'almost' part is everything!

Posted 6 Years Ago


I like the "What might have been" theme which is well expressed and relate-able. There is a mystery because you don't tell us why it never happened

Posted 6 Years Ago


mae23

6 Years Ago

Thank you for the review!
a112yearoldman

6 Years Ago

Sucks for sure
it really looks like unfinished...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mae23

6 Years Ago

okay what advice would you give me to finish
jazzymars

6 Years Ago

the extra stanza was erased already. ;)

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7 Reviews
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Added on September 30, 2017
Last Updated on October 1, 2017

Author

mae23
mae23

NY



About
"My memories are the only places I'll ever see any of it again, and I wonder if this is what writers are supposed to do, rebuild places it in there minds - places long gone, places that disappear, and.. more..

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