How To Procrastinate

Everyone procrastinates to a certain degree, no matter who they are. I have found that it is possible to procrastinate in any situation, no matter what types of distractions I have around me.

Option 1:

Everyone knows that it is nearly impossible to get anything done on a laptop. Laptops are the main source of procrastination in today's world. Instead of working, the cursor hovers over the Internet browser key. Without even realizing it, the Internet has become the center of attention.

• Any website will do, but I would suggest catching up on twitter before doing anything else.

• Then, maybe go to TV Tropes. This site can distract anyone for quite a while, but a website appears to be more productive than having a television episode playing on Netflix.

• Pinterest has become pretty popular, and content is divided into categories matching your personal interests. However, I will admit the site is primarily used by women.

• Arguably, tumblr is the most used procrastination site today, and, like Pinterest, users can find everything. Just beware of porn popping up every now and then.

• For anyone who likes books and quotes, goodreads is perfect. I think I have “liked” over a hundred quotes, and I love rating books on the site.

• Basically, any site will do.

Option 2: Somehow, while sitting at home, the Internet has been turned off. It has been decided that technology will not be used to procrastinate. Good job on trying to be productive, but it's not going to work. Houses are full of so many distractions, it is a wonder how anyone is able to work at home. There are so many possibilities.

• Get a drink.

• Eat a snack.

• Wake the dog up from its nap and make it play.

• Paint a masterpiece.

• Read a book.

• Clean out the refrigerator.

• Lay down and “accidentally” fall asleep.

• Change clothes.

• Take a shower.

• Make a pie.

• Knit a scarf.

• Make pro/con lists on every single topic imaginable.

• If all else fails, clean EVERYTHING.

• I think I've made my point. Possibilities are endless.

Option 3: Okay, so the laptop is at home, and Starbucks is as good of a place to get work done as any, right? Everything needed to complete the task at hand is there, but... of course that won't happen.

• Of course, the first step would be to get a coffee. And it would be stupid not to get food with the coffee. After all, it's somewhat hard to eat and be productive at the same time.

• People watching is the easiest(and laziest) form of stalling when you happen to be in a room full of people who are too involved in their own lives to know that anyone else exists.

• While people watching, listen to the music. Or pretend to listen to music. I've heard soundproof earphones are perfect for listening in on people's conversations, because they only block busy noise.

• If people notice the staring, buy a newspaper. Pretend to read the newspaper so that people stop staring back.

• Then, when that gets boring, actually read the paper.

• By then, the coffee is gone. Go to the bathroom, then get more coffee.

• Either repeat the steps above or actually do the work. Either way is fine. After all, nobody can make someone anything.

Congratulations! Time has successfully been wasted. Now get off the Internet! The procrastination must stop, because there is work to be done... eventually.