Status of Burma

It's about my country.....and SPDC is the name of our current government..

Be proud of being born in this country

Where most abundant thing is people’s generosity

How we gained independence was quite legendary

How Aung San saved the country by forming the military

Many countries envied us for how we gained our glory

Now country is ravaged by forms of military tyranny

SPDC’s actions are very much derogatory

Their most interested task is child soldiery

They have built a shiny city out of people’s poverty

They think they possess a gift called immortality

But they lack the quality of morality

They are not responsible for providing basic commodity

Electricity is another form of fleeting luxury

Inflation is the name of our currency

 

They only like to arrange things in orderly

Demonstrations are exhibited in the form of killing field

Activists are abducted mostly from monastery 

Heroes are short-lived, it is such a tragedy

Don’t speak of your heroes, just keep inside your memory

Silently, money is stolen from Department of Treasury

Propaganda is what we learnt, since we enrolled in school of primary

 

Hate the people who always talk about democracy

And don’t know s**t about this country’s history

Asylum is their goal; they only want to live in foreign country

They would shout deliberately in front of the embassy

Sadly, they are not doing this emotionally

They hope to gain money from doing this personally

But people here are fond of solidarity

Keep on striking with greater bravery

One day, we’ll gain our precious victory

These are the status of my beloved country

 

My friends would not want to involve with me politically

They don’t even want to read this eagerly

I want to say look at the faces of children, they are hungry

This might not be your problem, but should keep this in your mind permanently

May be I could not write this successfully

But I just can’t conceal another painful blow silently

All the pains inside are written down here aggressively

May be someone would understand me hopefully

 

Nyi

(15.5.2010)

Reviews

[The Perfectionist]

It's very impressive that you managed to end most every line with 'y' but one does wonder why you missed one. It stands out only because every other line is perfect that way. One thing you might want to note is that for some reason, two-syllable words like 'country' don't work as well in your pattern as three or four-syllable ones.

At first I thought your wildly changing line lengths, despite the obvious word pattern, were going to make this tough to read, but that's not the case. The grammar is iffy, but only because you've obviously had to twist sentences around to make your pattern work, which is well within the bounds of creative liscence.

In short, the only thing I would suggest is to try and complete that pattern, unless you wanted that line to stand out (considering what it is, I wouldn't blame you). Great work.

[nyi]

thanks for reading this....i really want to relate political issue to our day-to-day actions..and i found that it wasn't easy..in fact it was really hard...

[...]

... i'm aware of the political situation in Burma ... i have immense respect for aung san suu kyi ... i have not lived in that degree of nation-wide unrest and cannot begin to understand the intensity of the torture that you feel ... however ... i am from india ... and my nation was under colonial rule for decades ... i did not live in that era ... but the example of mahatma gandhi ... the father of my nation ... tells me that there is hope ... it would require a lot of courage and resilience ... but there is hope ... and the path is non-violence ... i believe so ... and i have great faith in aung san suu kyi ... i think if she can mobilize people ... and they can support her peace initiatives ... nothing is impossible ... i wish and pray with all my heart that the people of burma find the courage and resilience to take them towards relief and harmony ...

[R E Tree]

I understand your situation, changes happen and it can turn out bad or good. People can't cope with the change of leaving there country and going to another. I recommend money should be sent to charity to help poor children out there in poor countries. I do hope there will be a change, a change for the better