take it as you will friend

i try to apologize....

ninety nine percent of the time, i say things i don't mean. i think terrible things. i lose the poeople that care the most. i hurt the people that try to help. feeelings are pointless, when you can't control them. smiling is pointless when you can't see i'm doing it for you. the other one percent, im trying to end things, cut off the feelings i don't want. cut off the poeople who don't give two s***s. i'm losing my friends to my attitude. and im losing the ones i cherish the most, because i'm stubborn, and ignnorant. im a little girl who thinks she can save the world, but she can't even save herself. i guess this is my try for an apology, and my telling you that i care. even if you don't. i may not be here for you, and i think i'm afraid i'm going to f**k you over, like i fucked myself over. i love you, and i always will. maybe we're not meant to be friends. and maybe you don't care. i guess i can't really put all of my feelings into one message, never the less say them out loud. i'm not always the best kid, actually, it's very rare. but i'm sorry, or at least, i'm pretty sure i'm sorry. take it as you will.