Chapter Eight

Remy doesn't hear from Sunny, and begins to feel that he may have blown his chances with her.

Through the silence and the darkness, there came a sound. It was small and quiet, and at first, I hardly noticed it. Subconsciously, I assumed that it was nothing more than the sound of the building as it settled. But before too long, it came again, slightly louder, and I realized that it was the sound of someone knocking gently at the door. I got to my feet, heading toward it as the knocking continued. For some reason, my feet appeared to move in slow motion, and the faster I tried to walk, the slower I ended up going.

By the time I reached the door, the knocking had stopped, and I pulled it open to reveal a long, white hallway which seemed to go on forever. In the middle of the hall, I could see Sunny with her back turned, walking away.

“Hey!” I called out. “Sunny, wait!”

But she continued walking away, as though deaf to my cries. I stepped through the door, my feet weighing in at two hundred pounds each, and I tried once again to call out to her. This time, my voice wouldn’t work at all, and as I pushed myself to the limit in an attempt to walk quickly, she only became further and further away, until she was nothing more than a tiny, black speck against the white.

“Sunny!” I cried out once again, my voice issuing as a wheezy gasp.

The hallway began to darken and warp with every step I took, as though simply stepping on it caused it to crumble.

Darker and darker it grew, until the shape began to fade away, leaving me all alone in a heavy, black nothingness. I tried to scream, but even that wouldn’t work. The only sound I managed to create was that awful wheezing sound which eventually called me back into consciousness. My eyes snapped open, and I could see my apartment, but for the moment, my body was still locked tight into sleep paralysis, and all I could do was lay there and glance around frantically, hissing my wheezy, muffled screams.

After several long and unpleasant moments, my wheezing began to evolve into moans which grew louder and more powerful as my muscles started to awaken, until at long last, I sat bolt upright, screaming bloody murder.

Panting, I shook my head, burying it in my hands as I forced myself not to cry. The dream had seemed so real, and since it was still so fresh in my mind, I found it quite difficult to recover.

From where I sat in the arm chair, I could see Sunny’s doll peering down at me from the shelf, those lifelike inquisitive eyes piercing me with fabricated concern.

With a heavy sigh, I stole a glance at my watch, which claimed it was almost 4:30 in the morning. Too early to call Sunny, though I desperately wanted to. As it was, I was already afraid that she had changed her mind about me, and calling her in the middle of the night would only make things worse.

Still, I couldn’t seem to shake the dreadful, uneasy feeling that was stirring inside of me. Something felt wrong, and I couldn’t really put a definite finger on what it might have been.

I rubbed the crust out of my eyes.

Surely, it wasn’t sleep that was the problem. Between the sleep I’d gotten at Sunny’s house and the early bedtime I faced coming home, I felt extremely well rested and couldn’t get back to sleep if I tried.

I took another look at my watch, as though expecting a different result. Frowning, I got to my feet, realizing for the first time how sore I was from sleeping in the chair.

After some truly thorough stretching, I decided that the atmosphere of my apartment was terribly dark and lonely, and I really didn’t want to be there any longer. Still in my clothes, I stopped by the bathroom, where I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked like hell.

I briefly considered combing my hair, or changing my clothes, but all in all, I just really didn’t care. I had no one to impress. Sunny wasn’t around, and as far as I was concerned, no one else mattered.

My wallet and keys were still in my pants pockets, so after finishing up in the bathroom, I headed straight out the front door and into the cold, admittedly relieved not to find a long hallway waiting for me.

It was still dark outside and downright frigid. I shivered as I hurried down to my car and turned the engine. It growled in frustration as I turned the keys, promptly dying, as if to say “Why the hell are you waking me up so early?”

I patted the steering wheel apologetically.

“I know,” I said. “I’m sorry. I just really want to get out of here.”

Once more, I tried the ignition, the car bursting to life, begrudgingly.

“Fine,” it seemed to say. “You owe me.”

I patted the wheel once again before pulling out of the parking lot and starting away in an arbitrary direction. The drive was much more boring with no one else in the car, especially no one else driving. I didn’t have the luxury of looking around at the scenery, counting cars or mailboxes. No, it was just like any other boring day in my pathetic, boring life.

Before I knew what was happening, I had pulled into the parking lot of the Breakfast Barn, where I just sat for a few moments, trying to figure out whether or not I had actually decided to show up there.

I rubbed my eyes hard, and removed the keys from the ignition.

“Go back to sleep,” I muttered to the car as I stepped out into the cold, shutting the door behind me.

There were only a few other cars parked in the lot and I assumed they must have belonged to the employees.

Stepping in through the tall, painted double doors, I was greeted immediately by the same tall man from the day before.

“Mornin’ partner!” he said cheerfully. “Ridin’ solo today?”

I nodded morosely, wondering why I was even there.

“That’s alright,” he said, seizing a menu from the pocket on his podium. “Table for one, right this way.”

He turned away and I followed him through the dim restaurant over to a small and lonely table by a window, where I could see a bluish glow along the horizon where the sun was beginning to rise. I sat down in front of the menu that had been laid upon the table.

“I can put your drink order in,” he said, tipping his enormous, straw hat. “Know what you want?”

I tapped my fingers on the table, frowning.

“Cup of coffee and a glass of water,” I said, almost inquisitively. The man nodded with a wink and was gone before I knew it.

I turned my gaze back out the window, releasing a breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding. As hard as I tried to push Sunny from my mind, every few minutes or so, she always came wandering back in, and before I knew it, I found myself evaluating every little thing I’d said and done when we were together, trying to figure out if I had done something stupid without realizing it.  But the more I did this, the more I began to feel as though every single move I made was imbecilic. How could someone like Sunny possibly be attracted to me? I was a fool…

“Coffee and water?” came a perky voice with a heavy southern accent. I turned to see Sue, the waitress, standing over the table with a pot of coffee, her glossy pink lips stretched out in a smile.

“Thanks,” I said, as she filled an empty mug full of steamy, black coffee.

“So, no pretty young girls today?” She set the coffee pot down on the table, crossing her arms over her chest. Frowning, I shook my head, avoiding her gaze.

“Oh, dear,” she said, sitting down across from me. “I can see it all over your face. Something happened, didn’t it?”

As I looked at Sue, it first occurred to me to tell her that it was none of her business and that she should do her job, instead… However, I purged that idea from my mind right away. How rude would that be? After all, she was only trying to be nice, maybe just giving me someone to talk to, like I even had anyone else. I sighed, stirring the ice around in my water glass.

“I think I may have messed something up,” I confessed. “She just kind of kicked me out last night without much of an explanation.”

“Oh, my,” said Sue, cradling her face in one hand. “Was she upset?”

“She didn’t seem to be,” I told her. “Her tone seemed more like sugar-coated annoyance to me.”

“Do you know if you did anything wrong?”

I shook my head, bitterly.

“It’s stupid,” I said. “We’ve only been together for a day or two. I must be really pathetic if I can’t go a day without messing something up.”

“Well… Did she specifically tell you it was over?”

I bit my lip. She hadn’t said anything of the sort. It was just a feeling I got. She didn’t call me when she got home. Wasn’t that a bad sign? Abby and I always used to call when we got home to let each other know that we had arrived safely.

“No,” I admitted, sheepishly. “In fact, she said we’d see each other again. It’s just that it was kind of sudden. She just up and decided to rush me home, and then she didn’t even call when she got back.”

Sue giggled a little.

“Is this your first girlfriend?” she asked in a tone much sweeter than one would expect.

“Second,” I told her. “Things didn’t go all too well with the first one, so maybe I’m just overly cautious with this one.”

“That could be,” she said, softly. “But all the same, maybe you ought to do something nice for her, you know? Let her know that you value her feelings. I bet you could draw her another one of those nice pictures of yours, and she’d be thrilled. I know I would be.”

Sue winked at me, and I smiled half-heartedly.

“Let me get you some paper and a pencil,” she said, standing up. “I’ll be back to take your order in a few minutes.” With one last smile, she turned away and disappeared through the kitchen doors.

Taking a swig of my water, I realized that my bladder was full yet again, so hastily, I left the table and ducked into the men’s room. The floor was dark and shiny, reflecting the dim, flickering fluorescent lights, and locking me into what seemed like a chaotic, unwanted rave. I took care of my business as quickly as possible, hoping to get out of there, stat.

I washed my hands with haste, and then burst from the bathroom just in time to see a woman walking away from the women’s restroom. She was wearing a light, flowery dress, long red hair spilling down over her back.

“Sunny?” I asked, timidly. The woman did not turn around. “Hey,” I called out, slightly louder. “Sunny!”

I rushed up behind her, putting my hand on her shoulder. Startled, she turned around, assaulting me with a face that was one hundred percent not Sunny.

“Uh… Sorry,” I muttered, my face burning. The girl raised her eyebrow, her lips obviously stifling a grin.

“Sorry,” I said once again as I turned and stalked back to my table, embarrassed to the point where I wished I was invisible. As I sat down, I heard several people laughing loudly, and I turned to see the redhead and all her friends looking in my direction from their table across the room. My face burned and burned, and all I wanted was to disappear; to fade away.

Sue appeared moments later, placing a few sheets of blank paper in front of me, along with a freshly sharpened pencil.

“Sounds like somebody’s having a good time,” she said, glancing over at the table from which the laughter was still issuing.

“They’re laughing at me,” I said sourly. “Go figure.”

Sue frowned, taking her note pad from her pocket.

“What can I get you?” she asked, a slightly sympathetic tone in her voice. I tossed my head back, realizing that I hadn’t even looked at the menu yet.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know… Don’t you have, like, a special or something?”

Sue smiled sadly, replacing the tablet in her apron pocket.

“I’ll get you something,” she said softly. “Do you like mushrooms?”

I nodded, hoping my face wasn’t still so red.

“Alright,” she smiled. “I’ll be back in a bit. Don’t you worry about them, okay?”

Again, I nodded, and Sue turned on her heel, prancing away.

Blowing out a huge sigh, I gazed down at the blank pages before me. How empty they were, just the way I felt inside. I thought about leaving a page blank, and just calling it “me.”

Picking up the pencil, I drew a few lines on the paper, hoping that their shape would tell me what to draw. As I sketched, my lines began to form a flower, and so I went from there. By the time I saw Sue heading back toward my table, I had sketched out a rather rough drawing of myself holding out a bouquet of flowers, a cheeky grin on my face.

“That is adorable,” Sue said, peering down at the paper in front of me. “Better get it out of the way, though. You don’t want to get food on it.”

I nudged the papers aside and watched as Sue placed a large plate in front of me.

“Mashed potatoes and steak,” she said, proudly. “With mushroom gravy on top. What do you think?”

“It looks great!” I said, as my stomach growled. Sue laughed pleasantly.

“This one’s on me,” she said, winking.

My mouth fell open before I could stop it.

“Hey…” I said. “Please… I mean, you don’t have to do�"“

“Shh!” said Sue. “Just say ‘thank you,’ and we’ll leave it at that.”

Without letting me say another word, she smiled and sauntered off into the back once more.

“Thank you…” I muttered to myself, looking down at the sumptuous meal placed before me. My mouth watered at the very sight. There was no denying how hungry I was, but somehow, the idea of accepting charity seemed to put me off my appetite slightly. I could have paid for it, no problem.

However, I couldn’t just let it go to waste, so with my left hand, I devoured the meal while sketching with my right.

By the time I had finished the meal, I had a rather rough sketch of Sue in her waitress gear, a flower tucked behind her ear and a pot of coffee in her hand. At the bottom of the page, I scrawled a messy “thank you,” followed by “Sue is the #1 waitress in the world.”

I sat for a moment, darkening the lines, and deciding whether or not the message was too cheesy. I figured she would appreciate it no matter what, so when I was finished, I folded the drawing through the middle and placed a few bills inside for a tip. The sun was beginning to pop its head up over the horizon, and I looked at my watch, startled by how much time had passed.

Deciding that there was nothing else for me to do, I grabbed the picture I had drawn for Sunny, and crept nervously out of the building and into the fresh, yet cold morning air.

I didn’t have enough time to do anything else that morning. The time for work was rapidly approaching, and so the only thing I could do was rush home and take a hasty shower before changing into my uniform and bolting out the door.

I took the drawing with me, keeping it in my apron pocket as I worked, hoping that maybe Sunny would come order another soy latte and give me the opportunity to present it to her.

Unfortunately, the day passed by very slowly and boringly with few customers, especially no attractive, redheaded hippies.

We had a small breakfast rush, and then another small rush around lunch, but aside from those short periods of time, hardly a single person showed their face.

At around three in the afternoon, my manager finally told me I could just leave if I wanted to, since we weren’t getting a whole lot of business, and although I knew it would take a small chunk out of my paycheck, I was relieved to be free again.

I wanted to take the drawing to Sunny and apologize for any stupid behavior on my part. It wasn’t until I was in my car and ready to hit the road that I realized I didn’t really know how to find Sunny’s house again. I had slept on the way over, and on the way back, everything was dark and unfamiliar.

I tapped the steering wheel as I thought. This was just great. I had no good way of contacting Sunny, other than her number, which I had left sitting on the table in my living room.

Gloomily, I headed for home, which took much less time than a normal day, as there was no rush hour traffic to deal with.

Once home, I took my seat by the phone and punched in Sunny’s digits.

The line rang for an eternity, unanswered by Sunny or her answering machine. I gave it one more try, on the off chance that I had dialed wrong, but all I got was the same dreadful ringing, carrying on and on into oblivion.

I hung up the phone and sat back, frustrated. There had to be some way of figuring out where she lived. As I changed back into my normal clothes, I thought hard. Wasn’t there an information line you could call for information like that?

I trudged back to the living room and picked up the phone once again, dialing information.

“What city?” asked an automated voice. I barked my answer, wishing I could just talk to a human being for about five seconds. “What state?” it then asked.

Rather than answer, I muttered something about wanting to speak to an operator.

“What listing?” the automated voice chirped back.

“Skye!” I shouted. “Sunny Skye!”

“One moment!” said the robot voice as I bit my tongue in disgust.

I was greeted by a long and uncomfortable silence before at long last, a human being appeared on the line, asking me the same annoying questions the robot had just asked me a moment ago.

“Sunny Skye,” I said, wearily. “I have her number, I just need her address, if that’s possible.”

“I’m sorry,” said the perky operator. “I’m not allowed to give out that information.”

“Then what the hell does this service exist for?” I demanded.

“We can give out the addresses of businesses as well as phone numbers, but giving out residential addresses is strictly forbidden. Is this an emergency? I can send an ambulance to this location if you need.”

“No, it’s not that kind of emergency,” I argued. “I’m just… I need to get hold of her, and she isn’t answering her phone.”

The operator sighed, and then I heard some sort of beep on the line.

“Okay,” she said in a low voice. “If you have internet access, just run a search on the number and you’ll probably find out more information than I can give you here.”

Before I could say another word, the line disconnected and after a series of clicking, the drone of the dial tone flooded into my ear.

I dropped the receiver back down into the cradle and tossed my head back, groaning in exasperation.

If you have internet access, she’d said. Big if there, lady. I could barely afford to pay for my apartment, phone, and food, much less internet. Oh, how I hated my life. Maybe I should have gotten a second job and worked myself raw so I could join the 21^st century and use the internet like everyone else.

I twisted my fingers in frustration, pushing my ring into my skin so hard I swear I felt it break through.

And then, suddenly, it dawned on me. Don’t libraries have computers hooked up to the internet for public use? I bit my thumb, thinking. Where had I heard that, and was it true? Well, if nothing else, it was the only choice I really had. If information wouldn’t give me Sunny’s address, I seriously doubted it was listed in the phone book, so tucking the yellow slip of paper into my wallet, I stood up and made my way back down to the parking lot where I tossed myself back into the car and headed away toward the nearest library.

The library in question was surprisingly clean and well kempt, considering the part of town in  which it resided. Not wasting a moment, I marched straight up to the counter where a teenaged boy stood, thick rimmed glasses perched upon his nose.

“Can I help you?” he asked politely.

“I need to use the internet, if possible. Do you have any computers here?”

“Yeah,” he said. “There’s a room just back there, but you’ll have to sign in first, and you only get half an hour.”

He turned away for a second, shuffling through some things on his desk. When he faced me again, he was holding a clipboard which he slid in my direction.

“There’s some pens in that cup,” he said, indicating a coffee mug that appeared to have been painted by a child. “Just print your name, sign, and add your phone number. Then I’ll assign you a computer.”

I did as I was told, trying hard to make my handwriting legible, and then passed the clipboard back his way.

He looked it over for a moment, and then scrawled something down with a pen.

“Alright,” he said. “You’ll be using computer number four. There’s headphones connected if you need to hear anything, and there’s a huge printer hooked up to all the computers, so if you need to print anything, feel free. It does print in black and white, though, so I hope you don’t need any colors.”

“Thanks,” I said, starting away.

“Oh, one more thing!” he called after me. “Don’t forget to log out again when you’re done! Then you’ll need to come sign yourself out!”

I nodded with a wave, and continued back to the room mentioned. Several long tables were laid out in two rows, back to back, covered in big, hefty computers. Each computer had a laminated, colored slip of paper with a number printed in bold.

When I found computer number four, I took my seat, pulling out my wallet where Sunny’s number was tucked away safely.

Starting up the web browser, I looked around the room. There were only a few other people on computers around me, the closest user scrolling through his Facebook feed. I didn’t even have a Facebook page. What was the point? I didn’t have a computer, nor did I feel like coming to the library for half an hour every day, just to check it.

I turned back to my computer where the search engine was loaded and ready to go. Carefully, I typed in Sunny’s phone number, area code first, and hit the “search” button.

I waited for only a moment, before my search returned with several pages of results. I scrolled through, the first several results trolling me with their fake links for stupid things that weren’t even relevant.

I will say, it took some digging. I must have clicked more than twenty links before I finally got a lead. Street view maps were able to confirm that it was, indeed, Sunny’s house, and so once I had the address, I simply plugged it into a different website to get directions, which I printed out and stuck in my pocket.

I was about to leave the room and head back to the counter, when I realized that I hadn’t logged the computer out.

Darting back to my chair, I searched frantically for the log out button, which I couldn’t seem to find.

I bit my thumb, looking at my watch. I didn’t have much time, and I really didn’t want to have to talk to anyone else, but seeing that I really didn’t have a choice, I timidly poked the arm of the person sitting next to me.

He turned, an eyebrow raised, and took off his headphones.

“Yeah?”

“Sorry,” I said, sheepishly. “But how do you log out?”

As he reached a big, beefy arm over me to use the mouse, I caught a strong whiff of prime B.O. Trying not to make a nasty face, I held my breath, waiting for him to be done.

“Did you see what I did?” he asked, retracting his arm, and piercing me with a terrible, intense stare.

I nodded, attempting to smile.

“Okay. Don’t forget that next time.”

I watched as he slipped his headphones back on and buried his face in the computer screen again.

As quickly as I could, without being conspicuous, I burst from the computer room and sprinted up to the counter again.

“Back already?” asked the librarian kid. “You’ve still got, like, ten minutes left.”

“I got what I needed,” I told him. “Where do I sign out?”

He picked up the clipboard again and placed it in front of me.

“Just sign this last empty box,” he said, handing me a pen, which I took, scrawling my name as quickly as possible.

“All right, man, take it easy. Come back whenever.”

I nodded to him one last time before rushing out the door, down the large stone steps, and over to my car, removing the directions from my pocket.

Sunny’s house was by no means close, and as I drove, I wondered what she was doing all the way across town at New Grounds. My heart would try to tell me that it was fate. Destiny. That maybe a whole series of crazy events led her there, where we were fated to meet.

My brain suggested, more believably, that she simply worked somewhere nearby, and my heart argued that if that were the case, I would have seen her before.

“Maybe she never came at a time while you were working,” my heart retorted.

“Yes, she just happened to avoid you for that long,” shot my brain.

On and on, the two argued with each other, as I tried desperately to follow the messily printed directions without causing an accident.

After taking a few wrong turns and almost giving up multiple times, I finally arrived at Sunny’s huge and perfect house, where I burst from the car and up to her door.

I rang the bell, trying to get my breathing under control. From behind the walls, I could hear a loud, thunderous bell chime, reminding me of a church.

And I waited.

For several minutes, I waited, trying the bell once again and waiting some more.

After a good five minutes or so, I had to face the fact that she wasn’t coming. Either she wasn’t home, or she wasn’t answering the door for me. The only bright side was that I didn’t know which it was.

Frustrated and dejected, I removed the folded drawing from my pocket and stuck it inside the black, iron mailbox, which was empty inside, indicating that either Sunny had already checked her mail for the day, or that no mail had come for her.

Once again, the only relief was not knowing which. Ignorance is bliss, my brain told me as I shuffled sadly back to my old, dilapidated car.

I took one last lonely glance at Sunny’s fabulous home, before dissolving into my car and heading back to my nice, neat, roach motel apartment, where I knew I belonged.

What was I doing, thinking I deserved someone like Sunny Skye?