Forever His

This is a poem over the guy I am trying despratley to get over and move on with my life!

I Love him and I don't know why

All he does is makes me cry

Why does he have to do this to me

To my heart he has the key

Him I've tried to forget

But I can't, I regret

I think I should give in

For my heart he is meant to win

The love he first did show

I wish he would again bestow

But all my dreams and my only hope

I have lost so I mope

Will he come back or just forget

Am I his biggest regret

My heart is his I'm sorry to say

And forever it will stay

 

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

The feelings of this poem are ones that anyone who has had their heart broken by someone else can understand and relate to. As far as the structure there are rough places that you can easily find if you read the poem out loud. This something I learned long ago and still use when I'm trying to polish my own work and something that I'm always happy to pass along in the same way that it was passed along to me. Good job here and I hope that you soon you'll find someone else who is worthy of you and will make you happy. :)

[Arwen]

wow. a strong poem, i have felt that way a couple of times but afterwards i cried so much i stopped loving him. a very good poem none the less. good job :-)

[Mariah]

The rhyming is nice in this piece. It flows well, overall.

'To my heart he has the key'

This line really stuck out to me.

Nice work.

[Scott Free]

Very good. The poem flows well and keeps to one central thought...it was very connected, altogether.

"The love he first did show

I wish he would again bestow

But all my dreams and my only hope

I have lost so I mope"

I like the first two lines of this stanza, but the last line is a bit...er...I don't know, just doesn't flow with the mood of everything else. Mope is a word that refers more to being sulky and not getting your way--at least that's what I interpret it as. And the line doesn't quite fit with the meter, either.
But other than that I wouldn't change a thing!

[C. C. Burl]

Oh gosh, how I can relate to this poem. Some of those guys who just have our hearts the first time we set eyes on them . . . it's so hard to let go of our dreams. This poem really hit home for me, because I'm trying to let go of a certain guy right now . . . and right after another one! So, bravissimo, wonderful poem! I love it and I'm putting it in my favorites.

Happy New Year!

[Rebecca]

this is really good! and it sucks to say, but i can really relate to it. i hope things go well, and that you won't have too many sad poems like this!

-Rebecca

[Adeline]

I hope it won't be forever for real Aud, but this is a good poem!