24

Leshka was a longtime admirer of Sue’s. Their mothers were best friends, so the grown-ups, as was the custom, had decided their kids’ destiny long ago. Leshka didn’t mind it for he had a crush on her, but Sue wasn’t that into him - she would call him “dain bramaged” and push him around like a mop. Yet she wouldn’t cut him loose either - he came from a wealthy family and not only did he own an apartment in Moscow city and a S.U.V, but also a villa and a fashion clothing shop in Italy he would regularly bring Sue fancy exclusive rugs from. His mother had married a rich Italian man and moved over to his country when Leshka was only three years old. So, as it usually occurs when a kid grows in a strange country and mostly speaks the foreign language - Leshka had gained a foreign accent he spoke Russian with. His mentality, his manners were also too different from our Russian mindsets and behaviours usual for all of us, and calling this refined and, pardon moi, a bit retarded young man Leshka doesn’t feel quite right. So, for this story, let’s name him Alexis.

So I headed for his place the very next day, fully neglecting the wake at my grandmother’s.

“Won’t you stay for the nine-day wake?” grandmother asked me reproachfully.

“Nah. I’ll be back tonight” - I slammed the door and rushed down the stairs not even waiting for the lift.

In Alexis’ apartment we were met with a very special and rare back those days European-like interior. The inner doors with golden knobs were all pickled oak; the kitchen set with lights and frozen glasses was made with the same material. The jacuzzi bathtub made of acryl and shining-white sink lit by the bright lamps in recessed light fixtures seemed real luxury to me. I couldn’t, for the life of me, comprehend Sue rejecting poor Alexis since he was so rich (if the reader excuses me this pun). And I can’t even now, to be honest - even though I haven’t heard from her for ages. For the thirty years of my life I’ve had many dates and many affairs - but I have never - I mean, NEVER - dealt with a wealthy, successful man. Fate has always brought me together with sheer cheapskates, pardon my French - who would never give me a thing, and sometimes actually tried to rip me off. Those who were not “cheapskates” either stayed away from me or just never intercected with me as parallel lines never do.

But, perhaps, it was just me finding the wrong men in the wrong places…

Now, for my story, it doesn’t really matter, though. Both Sue and I didn’t care a bit about her rich admirer on that day; all that really interested us was his home phone. Alexis was more of a hindrance to us, and we, after a small conferring, decided to send him away.

“Go, my dear sweetheart, to the store, and buy us…” Sue rolled up her eyes in thought, “Yes; buy us some cannolis… my favorite ones, you know. A big box.”

“O-okey” Alexis replied with his ridiculous accent.

We exchanged chuckles. Alexis went to the store, while we rushed to the phone and began to try picking the right number.

It wasn’t as hard as we had thought it to be. At two of the projected phone numbers we were told the number was wrong. The trird was unanswered; at the forth our request to get Sasha on the phone was answered by a girl whose name was also Sasha. Only the fifth attempt was successful, and the phone was answered by the requested young man.

“Hello” I said shyly into the phone.

“Hm. Hello there. Who is it?”

I gave him my name.

“I’m your friend’s relative… from Kruglovo…”

“Ah, ok. I see.” he replied with obvious disappointment. “Did you want to ask something?”

“Me? No… I just wanted to have a talk…”

“About what?”

He didn’t even try to hold the conversation. I was of no interest to him and he made it clear. But, like any silly schoolgirl in love, I preferred to turn a deaf ear to it. So I just sat there trying hard to find common ground with him.

“Nothing, just… What are you up to now?”

“Watching a football. Why?”

“Just asking… Which channel?”

“The second.”

There was an awkward pause.

“Give it here!” Sue commanded as she pried the phone out of my hand. “Who talks to guys like that? Look and learn!”

Embarrassed, I let go of the phone. She took the reins quite unexpectedly, and, absolutely confident, like she had known him for ages, Sue began talking to him:

“My bestie is a bit too shy a girl… So, let me say hello to you. My name is Sasha. Yours? The same? Cool…”

I darted out to the next room for the parralel phone - to eavesdrop. And, to my complete surprise, I noticed that Shirik’s voice, so listless and apathetic when talking to me - now sounded a lot more animated. The conversation with Sue he was evidently willing to keep on.

“Describe yourself” he said to her.

“Well, I have long wavy hair, blue eyes… Also, I am wearing very sexy lingerie…”

“Give me the phone back, you idiot!” I yelled as I rushed in.

“Aw, I guess we are not going to talk properly tonight,” muttered Sue before I snatched the phone from her and pressed the ‘off’ button.

“Why the hell were you doing that? Who asked you to say such things to him?!” I attacked her.

“What’s wrong with these things? Everybody talks like that nowadays! Really, you are like a dinosaur with your stupid timidity!” she said tossing her curly hair, “Okay, relax. I don’t want your Shurick or what his name is. Although, I must say, he’s got quite a sexy voice…”

We heard the frontdoor go - that was Alexis coming back with the promised cannolis. But Sue’s mood was so ruined that she was really fit to be tied and she nearly flung those cannolis right in his face.

“You blockhead! Can’t you see you’ve brought the wrong cannolis?!” she yelled at him. “I told you to buy ones with cream, not hazelnuts! Have you got a mind like a sieve or what? Now get out, you blockhead!”

Alexis left for the kitchen without a word.

“The way you talk to him!” I said to her, “What was really that wrong with the cannolis? I think, hazelnut ones taste even better than the cream…”

“So eat them if you want to. You can also keep Leshka along with the cannolis. I’m giving him to you!”

“Thank you for the gift, but he wants you, not me.”

“I know that”.

Really, Sue’s mood had taken sour turn. And the cannolis had nothing to do with that. I was vaguely aware that the real reason was Shurik. Or rather me not letting her have a good talk to him.

But that instant I was more concentrated on the way she had talked to Alexis. And the way he put up with her antics and was quite okay with it!

On the one hand, I really felt for Leshka, but on the other - I was just freaking jealous. I would have liked to have such a lovesick slave at hand, too, so I could have been taking it out on him every now and then, and calling him a blockhead for buying the wrong cannolis.

I’d have paid anything at that moment to possess at least half of the ability to enchant and the power over men my friend Sue had.