28

A year had gone by.

The wound struck into my heart by Shurik had gotten healed bit by bit. Another took his place… The ‘another one’ appears in another story, “Not meant to be” its name is. So I’m not going to retell it here. I will only mention that things didn’t work out with that guy either, despite all my efforts. Apparently, my grandfather’s curse was still hanging over me like the sword of Damocles.

It was the very summer Sue had got raped in the ravine. A thing like that could break down any teenage girl. Just so it did to my best friend, and along with that our friendship went to hell in a handbag, too.

I was spending my summer vacation at Gran Zoya’s villa. My relationship with her had already been hopelessly ruined by then. Both of us - Grandmother and I - hated each other, and we both had our reasons for that. Grandmother couldn’t forgive me for grandad’s death, still blaming it on me, and I hated her for parting me from my crush - the guy I fancied to be in love with.

Can’t remember what exactly I had fought about with Gran Zoya this time, but I left home again. And I came to Sue’s. But she, sitting crouched on her iron bed and embracing her knees, didn’t even turn her head.

“You had better go home” uttered Sue not looking at me.

“I have nowhere to go. I’ve left home…”

“Well, what can I do?”

I was shocked. Sue had never, ever been so indifferent and cruel to me like that. Tears welled up in my eyes, and, without saying a word, I turned round to leave.

“Alright, you can stay,” she said, “We’ll play some chess”

I suppressed my bitterness, gulped back my tears and, returning back, sat down on the bed beside her.

Sue had always used to beat me at chess and checkers. Not only had she been more attractive and successful than me, but smarter also. But this time she wouldn’t even try to win the game. Sticking her earphones in and turning her player on full blast she swayed and dissolved in the music that I could hear very distinctly even through her earphones.

You’re gonna wake up one wonderful morning

And see your happiness round the corner,

And nothing will matter when you have it coming

One wonderful morning, one wonderful morning.

You’ll fall in love - you’ll be happy together.

Your happiness’ll find you - once and forever.

And nothing will matter when you have it coming

One wonderful morning, one wonderful morning.

I hated this song, calling it disdainfully “crappy pop”. Every time I had heard it on the radio I changed the radio station. But this time something happened to us two. Like some kind of electric shock the song struck her, then me, then my eyes filled up with water… Sue squeezed her eyes shut and suddenly broke out in tears.

“You’ll fall in love, you’ll be happy together” she sang through convulsive sobs, “Your happiness’ll find you… once and fore-ever!..”

The chess fell bump down off the board. I wept, Sue wept - we both cried bitterly, choking on our tears. We cried over our downtrodden, miserable youth. We wept because we already knew that we both were doomed. We knew that for both of us there was neither “happiness” nor “love once and forever” which this sappy, deceitful song teased us with; that nothing of what it sang about was ever going to happen to any of us. Instead, she was going to face the wretched death from liver cirrhosis, and I - to end up my life in a shabby single hole in the middle of nowhere, absolutely lonely, forlorn and forgotten by everyone.