A Third Person Account of a Crazy Girl

A girl attempts to detach herself from herself.

Cringing at the light seeping through the blinds of her windows, she presses herself deeper into the corner of the room. The light makes her sleepy. But she doesn't want to sleep. Sleep is torture. But so is life. But while awake, she can at least control her thoughts and not allow my thinking to drift away and think about my friends laughing so carefree, laughing while I --

She is not asleep. She is awake, And she will now get up and close the blinds tighter and she will go on with her daily chores: brush her teeth, brush her hair, make her bed, start on her homework. Read. Yes, reading's good. Reading is very good for her. And she will not think about things. She will simply let things pass through, won't you? Yes, she will. Of course I will, it's all she has to keep her from �

SHOOOTING HER F*****G BRAINS OUT OF HER GODDAMN HEAD. GET THE F*****G GUN FROM YOUR FATHER'S SAFE AND F*****G DO IT!!!

She says nothing. Her eyes simply stare through the same wall she has been looking at all day. And it's all right. Everything's alright if you don't think. If she doesn't think. There is no thinking. She only exists, remember?

She clumsily moves out from the corner, stumbles out of the room, and walks out into the hallway. Her walk is calm, paced neither too slow nor too fast. An average pace to suggest an average day. She wears a light smile; nothing too big as to seem fake, but a nice calm smile to show that there isn't anything wrong, that no she would never never

NEVER!

WANT TO STAND IN THAT DOORWAY AND SLAM THAT DOOR INTO HER GODDAMN HEAD!!!

. . . No, of course not. Why would she do something so silly as that. She doesn't want brain damage. Or the possibility of brain damage-

SHE JUST WANTS TO F*****G DIE!!!

And not put herself into a coma. She wonders how her head would look like smashed open. I'd probably look great. Fantastic.

And she wonders what her friends would think, even though she isn't supposed to think, are you? But I'm thinking already goddamn it, god they'd probably have a good laugh. No no no I'd want that but they wouldn't tears for godsakes why tears I wonder why why why no need for that why show that you f*****g care when I'm f*****g dead no no no no no no no they don't care. I-she knows they don't care. So it's useless to think about what they'll think. See? She knows. She knows. So she is now going to go down the stairs, walk out the door calmly calmly calmly and NOT

Kill herself? Of course she is. Give me the f*****g gun, b***h and I'll do it for you. Because I know where it is and I'm going to put my brains out right now so you be quiet now or-

She stands still. And collapses. Here, it is like being dead. In fact, she probably is already dead. She just doesn't know it. She is dead, but she is thinking � no she isn't thinking. In fact, she's just laying there and she'll still be there, motionless, until someone comes around and sees and maybe then they will care but that's too bad � they'll be too late because she's dead dead dead. I'm dead dead dead.

Author's Note

I'm scared to see what people will think and see my rating... O__O But please be critical if criticism is necessary because it's the only way I will improve!

Reviews

[Tim H]

Interesting piece. The reader certainly feels the dichotomy between the girl and the voice in her head. The girls extraordinary efforts to maintain the mundane provide a tension for the reader. The story opens with a nearly poetic line that hooks the reader. The ending seems much less satisfying, maybe make her an airline pilot or something and let her go off into the world. Ask yourself what would Steven King do?

[Last Lying Look]

Well I'm not sure if I like this...
I f*****g LOVE it!
The emotion and scatteredness of the thoughts was incredible!
The edge and vibe to this really kept me interested all the way through.
In a way, it was rather sad.
This is an amazing write.
I'm adding it to my favorites.
-Elissa :)