Finding Me

There is a part of me that I share with no one
I don’t share secrets
Don’t share the pain and suffering that I feel on a daily basis
Don’t let anyone close for fear of rejection or of loss
No one will know whom I love or whom I have had a crush on
No one will know those fears that are under lock and key
With the key hidden away never to be found
If it were found then people would criticize and ridicule me for the smallest thing
I do not want that
Who does
Can you tell me that
No you can’t
No one can

 

I want to be left alone
I am like a flower
Waiting to open I need gentle coaxing and fresh air
I am like a baby bird trying its wings out for the first time
I need room to grow and expand on my way of thinking and feeling
I need room to develop my ideas
I do not need anyone telling me what to do or when to do it
If they do I buck and learn nothing
And everything that has been done has been done in vain

 

I will only let people close to an extent and then it is I who push them away
Do not ask why
Do not try to analyze it
Do not try to categorize it
No one can, I am me and I have been through too much to be like anyone else
I am now finding me it is an extremely long road and there is still more to come
I have tons to learn about myself
Before I even think about letting anyone close for life
If I ever do
Yet there are so many things that I do want

 

Oh this maiden cannot make up her mind of yet
‘Tis not the time perhaps

 

Only time can or will tell
If today is the day for spreading wings or running for cover
If there is a love I was supposed to meet and did not

 

Oh heart we must wait until the telling of time