How the hell Do you Actually Support Someone Properly With Cancer?

Needing Advice.

I worry about daft things

and say silly things

when important matters

are on hand

It like my stupid brain

is crafting up foolish

subject to cause upset

Like I am anxious and stressed

but not putting my head and

mouth into gear before I speak

and coming out with upsetting

things to him.

And he has cancer.

I can not seem to control my

thoughts and actions.

And all I am doing is upsetting

him more.

I can not keep myself calm

and relax. So it's bouncing off

me onto him.

How the hell do you support

someone with Cancer?

Properly. As I really am f*****g

it up big time

Any good advice would be appreciated  Please?

Reviews

[Ardra]

I think it's the fact that our loved one is suffering causes us to be stressed out....isn't it...and we end up doing things which we are not supposed to....I think if you have a strong connection it's always best to let that person know.... it's not intentionally....it's just you are not sure why you are acting this way.... I feel honesty is the best option to share...and then find a solution with him... :)
I can feel your love for him...that's why you are acting this way....if we don't care then it will not cause so much reaction in us.... that's what I have understood....

[Onlyme]

Thank you Ardra really appricate what you have told me. Makes sense.

[Ranfer]

you have to talk properly with him about the things which are disturbing you. don't tell it in one day . tell him little by little. Do things which make both of you happy. Go and meet other cancer patients and talk with them. There are some patients who are brave with cancer. If you meet them, you will get strength to fight cancer from them. You have to go out and do things together.

[Onlyme]

Thankyou for the advice.

[Jon Roggie]

It all depends on the person, and what kind of shape they are in. One of my high school teachers went fairly quick, but she didn't want to be pitied. A few of us simply kept her spirits up. Uncle was different, and so was my Dad. Niece had chemo at nine months, and she is now eighteen years old. It takes something from you. Your emotions are going to show. All you can do is be honest.

[Onlyme]

Thank you Jon.

[Crowley]

Ughh...sometimes the awkwardness is too much. I know what you mean. With time, it will get better, and trying to just be Dee and more importantly treating him like him and not a cancer patient is the best advice I can think of. Hang in there girl!!

[Onlyme]

Thank youCrowley.

[moog-drika]

When you think that the person you love the most, you trust the most, cannot be the one that will leave you ever, its that moment you think you can show all of your grudge, upsets, stupidity, happiness or every single emotion without any hesitation. And its your immense love that sometimes makes you do something that the person you love ends up getting hurt. I do the same stuff with my love. But in this situation, what I do is, I keep myself away from him and relax myself. You can try the same. It might help you calm down and feel better so when you go and meet him, you meet him with positive vibe and this will definitely help him feel better than ever. So please don't feel bad sweetheart. You have to be strong to spread happiness. :D

[¿]

There's a famous dialogue I recalled after reading your poem here....
"How many days you've lived, doesn't matter, But what matters is how much you've lived in those days....another one is, Life shall not be measured by length...it should be measured by depth ...
So, I would say remember the promises you made to your lifeline at your wedding....accomplish those and make as much happiness as possible....
Remember, there's indeed a reason....a good one!
Take care Dee :)

[Onlyme]

Thanks Tahsin.

[¿]

😚😚😚...Dee

[Lyn Anderson]

I second the honesty. And whatever it is that de-stressed you before as a couple needs to continue, in whatever modified form necessary. Finally, remember, you're no good to him if you're run down. There are supports for the patient and the loved ones in groups. Reach out to your local cancer society and/or social agencies for those supports. Don't be afraid to decompress with someone you trust so you can be a strong, supportive spouse

[Onlyme]

Thanks Lyn for the info. and good advice.