Holiday Clothes

This time, I feel different. Truly.

I got a new skirt 

And two new blouses for the holiday

Both the kinds of things

The way they swath my body 

That I would never have worn before

Before

When I was bigger

And my stomach was fuller

Yet I never felt full

How ironically empty was I

In the morning

I got up early

Dressed meticulously

Let the breezy white plaid encircle me

Smooth it above the small hill of my stomach

It doesn't hide that it's there

I whisper soothingly

"Nobody is perfect"

Tuck, 

Yes, tuck

(Before, I would never tuck)

The juniper green delicately

Into my stockings 

But there are still bits of it

That ruffle outwards

It doesn't tuck 

Like a sheet to a bed

But instead

Of dwelling on the discomfort 

And it's triviality

I focus on how beautifully

The fabrics compliment one another

My new black, leather, ankle height boots

Bring it all together

And as I sway to the prayers

I don't think too much

About what I'm wearing

And how it's sitting

On parts of me 

And that is such a gift

Truly.