Awakening

nothing much

 

 

Standing back

Set apart from the rest

Watching

 

A wallflower

Begining to bloom

Waking

 

Stepping out

Joining in

Living

 

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

It is funny, not really, but how I misread that last word. Perhaps it is just my bitterness at this point in life, but I reread it again - and it had that coming of age feeling to it... :)

Change that last word (DO NOT DO IT, just picture it) from Living to Lying... and BAM, there is the life I know... wading my way through all their lies day to day, trying to wash away the grime at the end of the day, only to do it again the next.

[Moi]

I enjoyed this. Very simple, very delicate, very soft. Each stanza explained the evolution, or the steps to awakening. Also, I see each line isn't built into the other; more like spoonfuls of descriptions. It's all done in graceful proportion. I don't know if you're satisfied with it or not, but it's definitely got potential. My only problem is ending it with "Living" doing that seems a little cliche'd to me. Perhaps another choice of word could help enhance the last stanza?

[WordMaster]

This is "much" for such a short write

Many of us can relate to the visual picture you created of
someone hesitating about joining in the activity before them

This may be just a few words, but they are very powerful

Wonderful expression of an emotion

Thank you for sharing

[Last Lying Look]

This is very pretty & light. Short & sweet. Just right.

[Adela Muresan]

How simple and beautiful

Your description of the awakening is one that would have matched birth with perfection.

Great picture selection :).

A.M.

[Michael V]

nice evolution,but it isnt done..note that only my opinion, seem like the final season, or stage, or what I would call the resolution is not there. But i like you simple, smooth, and light wording.