You'd Have to Promise

Shaking hands and shadowed pavement.

If you were mine,
you'd have to promise
to read my poetry.

You'd have to promise
to take in my dreams
and my pain,
laid out before you
while my hands shake, and
your eyes,
the green and brown hazel,
the tidal wave of bursting summer that is your eyes,
measure the meaning of my words.

And if you were mine,
you'd have to promise
not to talk about it.

Because the gentle dance
of crisp, red and yellow tears
drifting on the shadowed pavement
while we sit,
I, waiting for the moon
and you,
gentle fingertips grazing my letters,
is our moment.

You'd have to promise.

Author's Note

This is my first(: An honest review would be really helpful.

Reviews

[Lexi Richard]

Beautiful imagery! I love this, I love the emotions conveyed and the descriptions, especially
"Because the gentle dance
of crisp, red and yellow tears
drifting on the shadowed pavement"
I thought that showed great imagery:)

[Rob Santana]

Hey this is really awesome. Love between a boy and girl can be so wonderful and full of promises. Nicely done.

[Justin]

that was really great, it is in a great pattern :)

[Wayne Riley]

absolutely blown away by your talent. Thank you.

[Katie Alexander]

Oh my God, thank you

[RubyOmma]

It's really good. My favorite line is "not to talk about it" and how you put the and on the end and continue on the next line with your eyes. It makes it so powerful. Great work!

[Orlando Wynn]

Well God damn, I here on out promise to keep up with all you're writing. This piece was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. If only there was a girl out there who would want me to do this for her :''( *sob*sob*.... enough whining though and on to the real review. You're use of imagery here is f*****g wonderful. Describing your lover's eyes "crisp" "red" and "yellow" tears... nearly brought me to tears aha (sorry for the corny attempted joke) Anyways I give this a 9/10 and goes to show that you don't need a long or extensive piece of work to make a masterpiece.

[Gabby Nieves]

This is just ...perfect..... thats all I have to say

[Katie Alexander]

That review means so much to me thank you(:

[StrixNebulosa]

this is a great start... now just dont give up... find those things you held back and pour them out. another thing, forget being critical of your own work, though you will, just keep in mind to let it be.

[Sami Khalil]

A good one for a first...Bravo.....................

[❤ Maggie ❤..]

This was your first?! Wow..this was like amazing. I really loved this :) Keep up the good work, you definitely have a gift!